yv0nne

2011-07-15T22:04:00.002+08:00

as much as I want to,
but sometimes,
with other various factors around,
I fear for the lack of courage to preserve, persevere and hold on..

understood, yet smhow, pain still seeps in unknowingly..
ever always, a worrying response;
escape, pretence, feigning ignorant..

unsure of the journey,
uncertainty of the outcome..
unsure of how long I can take all these..

& my fears, and worries,
mind I ask,
if you'd know?
for as always,
I'm not strong,
at all.

2011-07-05T22:57:00.002+08:00

The start of July was a turning point for me..
exactly on the 1st of July, i was down with a high fever..
39.1 degree celcius..

things were not turning for the better..
it worsened on monday, on the 4th of july..
39.5 degrees celcius..
woke up having pain when i opened my eyes..
certain angles give strains to my eyes...
went to a doc which sorta burnt a hole in my pocket..
didnt know situation was that serious that i had to go for a blood test..
doc wanted to find out if i had dengue...
which well, kinda brought a shock to me...

dengue, takes up to 2 wks to recover fully,
or if it's fatal.....can lead to death...

today, 5th of july...
noticed more spots growing on my tongue...
really worried if it's scarlet fever...
went to see my family doc...
thank gdness it's not..
but, it's infection...
$ spent again...

________________________________________________________
all in all,
these 5 days...many thoughts have ran thru my mind...
seriously, it's scary to be ill....
i mean, seriously ill....

this is the first time i've been so ill,
be on mc for so many days....

ofcourse, one issue is definitely gonna be money..
money's gonna be drained easily for medical costs....

another thing is, when you're seriously ill...
you really think for the worse...
i mean...worst..

tmr, the report will be out..
ofcourse, im hoping for it to be negative...
but the initial feeling of either im dwn with dengue or scarlet,
is crazy...
well, becos both can be fatal....
& ofcourse...i'm not ready to go just yet...
im just....22....
i'm not even halfway there...

there were so many thoughts...
& ofcourse, my 1st thought were full of you, you & you....

if i were to leave,
our dreams can't be fulfilled..
i've yet to become your lawfully wedded wife;
i've yet to live tgt with you under the same roof;
we've yet to have our own children;
we've yet been to places we wanna travel tgt...
& if were to go...
how would things be like for you already?
thinking about all these, already made my heart gnawed in pain.

_______________________________________________________________
we tend to feel that one is exaggerating when such expressions are made..
but it's different when you're the one going through the experience yourself...
it's really what they said...
it is when you're on the brink of death/having a serious illness,
that you'll think for the worse and wonder what you're gng to do with the rest of your life..

he says, i always think too much..
which i agree myself...
but everything abt me now, is just you, you, and you..
unconsciously or not, you're already the priority in my life..
the thought of all these are craziness..
& it just makes my tears flow more..

then i go on thinking abt how ppl arnd me would be like if im gone..
would there be lots of tears?
will they be coping differently for the fact that im gone?

__________________________________________________________
one of the nights, i dreamt that i was strangled to death by someone..
not the usual strangling from the front, but the hands was on the back of the neck...
bt still, was struggling n i woke up tearing...

yesterday, the doc said i was dehydrated,
and that he could have sent to me to the hospital for a drip...
was taken aback cos that was the last place i want to go to...
ofcourse, the expenses again, are crazy enough to wear everyone down...
just feel very problematic these days...
with health issues....
when one loses health, one really loses everything..
was a sentence that came to my mind after all the thoughts...

you lose $, your loved ones, your life...

this experience really dawned upon me...
the fragility of life...
when a virus/illness strucks you,
it's so sudden, no one expects it...
how serious it is, no one knows...
& ppl always say, to live life the fullest...
how are we really doing it?

2011-05-22T01:22:00.003+08:00

ever feel like there's no one to associate with?
ever feel so lost and helpless you really don't know what to do?
i know it's kinda dumb to act like it's the end of the world,
but i just feel so little of myself..

you're just, useless.

i don't know how my future will be like,
i don't know what i will be doing even in the near future.

don't you just....dread yourself?

i just feel like hiding in a corner and weep,
enclosing myself- to be alone and pretend everything would just die away..

2011-02-24T19:10:00.002+08:00

it's been 4 months since i last updated..
somehow this seemed to be forgotten,
or i can't really find the time for this anymore.

and the reason for today's entry?
serves as an outlet for me.

i don't why i feel ~~so vulnerable~~.
i ~~broke down.~~
every single thing i do;
i try my best to do things that ~~please you~~;

but whatever linkage it has,
words you said,
idk...

perhaps you're right.

i have the sudden urge to act like a rebellious kid,
only at this age- alr an adult.
to retaliate, to runway.
i really dont know what i should do,
or what i might even do one fine day.
no one knows, even me, myself.

2010-10-15T22:22:00.002+08:00

It's been a really ~~tiring week.~~
Mentally strained, leading to physical weariness.
Nothing to do with work.

No good sleeping time with the already short hours.
No wonder if my body were to collapse any sooner.

The flu's making me tired.
Goodnight.

2010-10-14T11:18:00.000+08:00

I don't know why,
but my eyes have been teary,
eversince.

2010-10-13T21:55:00.000+08:00

One word.
FOCUS.

That's what all I can say.

Restart, Refresh.

2010-09-21T20:16:00.002+08:00

What's marriage?
You know, everyone is forever and always asking,
"How do you know if he/she is The One?"
& the usual answer is most probably a gut feeling-
"I just know it"
"You'll know it when you experience it."
It's just....a feeling, as a matter of fact.

& so, people then go into marriage ever so certainly that
"Yep, He/She is The One"
But, is there a happily ever after following that?

A pity, & sad to say,
i doubt so.
As a matter of fact.
Not because i'm being negative about this.
Especially in this era of 21st century, yet again.

Relationships ARE fragile.
You can see young people getting into relationships at a ridiculously young age;
People changing boy/girlfriends ever so easily & readily,
just like how you change your day to day attire.

Marriage?
Indeed, is just a piece of paper; a certificate; a process.
Commitment; Love; Faith; Responsibility & all?
Where are all these already?
A piece of paper- easily crumpled, torn, burnt.
That's how easy a marriage can fail, and break.

I really feel for my girls,
whenever I encounter situations or hear stories of such.
Real life situations and events.
I just feel sorry & sad for them, having to go through all these at such a tender young age.
Can't help to put myself in their shoes..
How would i be handling all these if i were the one who's going through all these?

Value & treasure your loved ones.
Saw an old couple holding hands, walking along the street as they get to work in the morning,
as the bus I was in passed by them.
Most of us do get this feeling of bliss and sweetness whenever we see old couples still ever so loving at such an old age right.
I believe it's due to envy.
Wanting, & hoping we will end up with our loved one the same way,
as if our love never dies,
& will continue burning, in the long run- until our deathbed. (:

2010-09-19T16:25:00.005+08:00

It's been 3 months since i last updated.
Seemed longer, in fact.
Nearly forgotten its presence.
Life as a working adult is such.

Nothing to do, so might as well.

Was listening to songs in my music player,
& there goes the song, If you're not the one by Daniel Bedingfield.

Feel for the song- it's lyrics & tune. <3

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know life so far away
But I know that its just a trip
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I'Ve build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

I believe a lot of us are still finding our way,
looking for what we're meant to be.
But sometimes, what we want and what we should do in life,
is just beyond our control.

I believe I can only live my simple & laid back life in a place called dream.
That's 21st century for you.
Let's welcome the next to be in view.
~~I-can't-wait.~~

2010-06-21T23:30:00.003+08:00

are you the type who would runaway when you're faced with a problem?
i think i am, in certain areas.
in a withdrawal mode.

you know this shouldn't be the way,
yet you can't help feeling this way.
what to do?

some things are better kept in the dark.
curiousity kills the cat.
and BANG!
the cat just got killed.

2010-06-05T23:15:00.003+08:00

"There are a few rules to be true to love & marriage:
If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
Your values must be alike.

And the biggest one of those values?
Your belief in the importance of your marriage"

"Love each other, or ~~perish~~."

-Tuesdays with Morrie

I like reading things I can closely relate to and nod silently in my heart as I agree with certain values/things.

Whenever we see things at face value, most of the time, we wouldn't know how difficult it is in certain situations, especially if we havent experience them ourselves..
& if we do, we'll realise certain aspects are really not as easy to go through as you'd like to think they'll be..

As the frequency goes higher,
I can't help to start wondering, pondering, & eventually thinking to the stage of....deciding..

Should I, or should I not be myself?
You tell me.

2010-06-03T21:33:00.003+08:00

sick of always being the one to be blamed for when the fault's not on me at all to start with.
there's no justice to biasness.
crappy piece of dung.

2010-05-13T19:13:00.004+08:00

i think i've mentioned this before,
and i will be saying this again.
that if i were to have a choice to remove any part of me,
I would want to have my lacrimal gland removed.

obvious reason why.
and that means most of my emotions cant be seen on the surface,
which is sometimes a good thing.
because of this,
i'm never a person who is collected.
and, at this age, i ought to be, especially now.

life is really great when you're a child.
but we all know, we can never be,
or never can we go back to then, ever again.
that is why, i seriously dont want to grow up.
but, who has a choice not to?

sick and tired of this ugly humanity world.
and the best thing is?
this is only the beginning.

friend(s) are not as easy to make as you grow older.
it's even not easy to find one around whom you can fall back on and fight with you.
i thank God for giving me at least one of such in this place.
no words can express how thankful and appreciative i was, and will be, because of whom i can call a friend.

today has very much taken a toil on me.
and it's always weird how life works,
that whenever you need someone the most,
& whenever you're the most vulnerable,
you just can't seem to find anyone,
or someone just isnt there.
bt i'm glad i eventually did, once more- from a friend.

♥ ☺

2010-05-04T20:21:00.006+08:00

hohoho, havent blogged in a month!
nonetheless, here goes!
past 3 days were superb cos it was spent with ♥ ☺

Labour Day, 1 May
Prebirthday surprise?
lugged the new bolster all they way to his house.
process wasnt as bad as i thought,
instead,i felt more paiseh when i saw him. heh

2 May- the actual day!
all ready and prepared,
popped out with the brownie cake in my hands,
but he was so engrossed with soccer that he didnt notice!
GRRR!! nonetheless, he was surprised.
that silly boy was wondering why the brownie cake was so hard,
& he realised he held the knive the opposite way,
using the back to cut. :D

& then we went to watch Ip Man2.
superb movie too!
hadnt watch the 1st one though.
but was really engrossed and captivated inside.
plus, im not a really action movie kinda person.
all in all, 5 popcorns for it!

after which, headed for dinner at Clarke Quay.
♥ the lightings there.
pretty! ☺

our orders.
food, glorious food.

then went to sat by the river,
reminisce a lil bit.
and out comes the pressie.

was busy snapping while he unveils the present....

until i noticed smth which made me taken aback for a moment. :O

the content wasnt touching or whatsoever, but that silly boy was touched to tears.
don't feel embarrassed or fret having others know that guys do cry.
i always feel, and believe, that there's nth embarrassing about that.
it's not about manliness,
it's more about being able to unveil your true emotions in front of the one you love,
without worrying how she thinks about you.
that, to me is better than putting on a brave front, not letting the girl know how you really feel.
♥ ☺

purposely put these photos in such order.
so cute right?
he's looking up at me! hoho
=X

summing up, past 3 days really was
♥ ♥ ♥ !
☺☺☺!
& i believe he is too! (:
because as long as the other is happy,
you'll be happy too. ☺

2010-04-01T18:51:00.004+08:00

I wonder if it's true they say your unhappiness/bad luck will be snipped away as you snip off the long hair of yours, short.

i'm gonna cut my hair- short.
yes, you didn't see it wrongly,
and neither am i playing/pretending again, like before.
although i just realised it happen to be April Fool's today too.
for the first time, it won't be just an inch or two.

2010-03-23T23:04:00.002+08:00

只有我了解这幸福感觉
美得值得去付出一切

能够遇见你认识你喜欢你爱上你
感谢我每滴眼泪

只有你明白我有多珍贵
好得值得你为我改变

请你继续温柔交换我灿烂笑容一天一天
到永远那一天

2010-03-16T16:55:00.004+08:00

& so, we met up ytd & the feeling's superb!
missed them loads & it's been long we last snapped tgt!
so must 趁机 & also get their pics down inside my new camera.
& tada! finally ytd was the 1st.
took quite a bit. I LOIKE! :DDD

POPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~

WIFEY~~~

♥ this pic.

somehow got a kind of FEEL. ((:

I LOVE MY WIVES.

&, BABY TOO!

just in case YOU get jealous again.

hohoho. :D ♥s

2010-03-15T15:31:00.002+08:00

was looking thru those bday wishes i had written down on my guest book.
though it's not alot,
but those heart-felt wishes from all my loved ones put a smile across my face, & warmed my heart.

I enjoy looking back every once in a while,
to recall those moments,
though in this case, it's only about 2 months ago.
It makes me feel blessed and thankful with people of such in my life.
although things might change,
or might be a lil different;
or contact with one another might not be that frequent,
am sure people still do care but time just dont give us the luxury to do so.

meeting my gfs for dinner & catching up later on.
really been eons since we last met.
-on my bday celebration, i presume.
it's been 2mths alr! ):

2010-03-10T22:44:00.003+08:00

why, do i feel a difference?
why, is it like this?
why, am I feeling this way?
is it me, or you?

the reason for pressing on;
getting by each and everyday,
so as to reach the day a lil closer.
courage; strength; motivation; faith.
it's easy to keep it going,
if, i'm not alone.

they say, it takes two hands to clap;
and two to whisper quietly.

because when we love,
we tend to have that extra patience towards that special someone.
because when we love,
we tend to have that extra understanding towards that special someone.
because when we love,
we tend to have that extra forgiveness for that special someone.
because when we love,
we tend to want the best for that special someone,
not wanting to add or be a burden for that special someone.
because when we love,
we do not mind what we would go through,
irregardless of anything,
just because of love.

2010-03-10T18:02:00.003+08:00

"To be or not to be; that is a question."

Everyone needs reassurance, praises, recognition, or some form of morale boost or appreciation once in a while.
To push us further.
To feel important.
To be recognised for efforts; strengths.
To feel valued and worthy.

It's always then, that gears us on,
to move on, and keep us going.

So, then again,
it goes back to the question,
"To be or not to be?"

on another note,
I want to watch Dear Johnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

2010-02-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

if only you've add up the number of times these heart aches have occurred;

2010-02-23T22:41:00.002+08:00

like the days can't get any worse;

eventually, it's still ~~unsustainable.~~
-weak.

~~worse still when there's no support,~~
~~& you're the only one left hanging alone.~~

2010-02-13T17:40:00.003+08:00

i wonder why CNY is getting more boring as each year passes..

i don't like to pretend to be someone whom i'm not,
but i have to.
but, it's killing me on the inside.
~~what's with staying strong & independent?~~

2010-02-12T23:11:00.003+08:00

YAY!
The part of the day that i was looking forward to is eventually paid off! ((:

Despite the weariness and the perspiration,
it's all worth while, as what I've foreseen!

I can only say,
from the reaction,
my happiness is doubled. ((:

SURPRISE, SURPRISE. :D

I really think i'm sweet,
how? :D

2010-02-06T00:23:00.003+08:00

1st thing 1st.
this was supposed to be a 5th Feb entry.
Happy Birthday to Grandpa & Veron!
hoho.
celebrated their bdays tgt as a big family.

got to extend my wishes to moo2 too,
though he wun see it here.
heh. ;)
________________________________________________________________

Ignoring a certain issue doesnt mean the problem doesnt exist or it isn't a concern to the subject.
It just covers and hides issues and flaws, and allows the subject to runaway from acceptance.
- in denial mode.

once, twice- it'll be fine.
things will usually be alright.

accumulation- never something to be overlooked nor looked down upon
for in the long run, you know things are just gonna snowball.
like a sleeping volcano in its rest for a thousand years,
going into an eruption into a fire of rage.

~~i dread this feeling of deep, sharp gnawing pain at times, lately.~~

2010-02-03T20:17:00.002+08:00

flu virus is spreading arnd again.
not only in school, but practically everywhere else.

on, off; on, off.

can i take MC without seeing the doc?

~~i want to just sleep, sleep & sleep.~~

2010-02-02T22:59:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday to my mummy! (:

love this picture,
hope it stays this way, or better.

Have you ever had the feeling of you fighting against yourself?
being the rationale one, like how you would usually handle matters when it comes to others,
versus, the overwhelmed you, by emotions/feelings.

self-talking aint always easy,
and not many people handle this well.
yes, you can talk to yrself -but in a positive or negative light?

it's irritating and contradicting many a times,
or in this case, for yrs truely.

and eventually when you succeed in self-talking to yrself/building up or accumulating enough strength to move on,
something such as a small comment or remarks leaves u crumbling after.
it takes ages to build that up, but only a second to bring it all down.
&, how many more attempts would you be able to build it all up again?

perhaps today's just one of another emotional days.
smth happened which got me thinking alot.
as usual, im always the role of a mediator.
not to self-brag or anth like it,
but i realised i'm always playing the role of a mediator in people's life,
and i wonder, where's mine?
thinking back, i don't think i've ever encountered one b4.
you know how easy one is to take sides, isnt it?
everyone's guilty of it.
even me- ofcourse.
nobody's perfect- so am i.
but at least, i do not, at least 90% of the time?

sometimes, i really do get tired of being so human myself.
let me be unreasonable.
let me be selfish.
let me be ridiculous.
let me not ~~think about others before myself,~~
for the very ~~once?~~

i really need strength & courage.
- lots & lots of them.

2010-01-24T00:12:00.003+08:00

Just to revive my blog a lil bit.

I've received 3 items from my secret Angel thus far.
i think i know who tt person is though.
didn't take a pic of the 2nd item.
the 3rd item was seen on Friday b4 i left school.

& this was taken today.

~~It's Sunday alr.~~
SUPER duper fast, isnt it?

Read this somewhere and found it meaningful.
& I thought it'll be nice to share it with all of you.
"Let bygones be bygones and be willing to close the door to the past.
It's time to let go and move on from a toxic emotional situation,
not time to use fun and spending to try and avoid it. "

There's also other things here and there i read before,
which are meaningful to share, or let us people ponder and think about.
but am lazy to talk about it.
shall talk about it when that day eventually comes
-that is when i feel like it.
heh.
Taa all.

2010-01-05T16:27:00.011+08:00

Celebrated my 21st last Sunday, on the 3rd,
at Acacia Restaurant.

This yr is indeed a memorable one.
-once in a lifetime experience i guess.

With various grps of loved ones,
coming tgt all at the same time. (:

too much to be updated.
way too many pics to upload as well.
Just upload a few couple tt i like. (:
(everything is uploaded at FB as usual)

The pretty & delicious Chocolate Royaltine cake. (:

Poly/AED frens & my lil cousins. (:

Beloved Cousins! ((:

Beloved GFs/Cousins/& brother(s) who shared the present for me
- a camera and a mp3.

My Grandparents (:

My Dad (:
-who helped me plan; getting the location and preparation of the food.

My Mummy!

My Family! <3

My GFs! ((:

Last but not least, My Beloved BF! <333333s
(we looked like we're taking photo for our engagement/ROM)

funny, but ser-weeeeeet. ((:

Also, extending my thanks to my gfs' bfs(& mine, ofcourse :P),
for helping me w the deco. ((:

the bouquet of flowers from my mum's fren, Yvonne.
Yes, from Yvonne to Yvonne. :D

& this lovely bunch from my Baby Boy. ((: <3

talking abt this bouquet of flowers,
i realised how dumb and stupid i was not to even have the slightest thought occuring to me tt it was even sent to me.
-moreover to think who it could have been from.

was eating w bf and colleages when the a guy walked in w this bouquet of flowers.
den they were saying must be for me.
and i was like, no, couldnt be.

den the guy went all the way to the counter and i realised he IS looking for me.
so i stood up, went over and 签收.
den i asked him who it was from.
den he said there's a card on the flower.
so idk why,
i went allllllllllllll the way out (whr my pressies were put)
so as to put it tgt w them,
instead of taking the card out on the spot whr i was from.
kinda stupid n weird to recall it nw.

den wen i opened the card,
it was indeed a surprise for me cos i really didnt expect it to be from baby!
(becos b4 tt he alr passed me the gifts for me at my hse,
& i was alr asking him why there were 2 instead of just 1 lo.)

seriously no words could express hw i felt at tt pt of time.
im only like, "omg omg" inside my heart.
went back in i seriously dont really know how to compose myself but to stare into his eyes and seriously felt he shouldnt have.
maybe to you, it's just a simple gesture.
but at that moment it's really indescribable and i'm really touched!

saying abt being touched..
thx to my GFs too. ;)
and also, SYAZ for DIY-ing the letter.
and i was touched as well.
& also my Cousins/GFs/Brother(s) for the camera!

u guys made me wanna cry lo.
SIGH.
hahaha.
love you lovely ppl to bits laarrrhhhhhhhh! <33333333333333
Thank you for EVERYTHING.
I had a wonderful day, and i hope all of you did as well. ((:
This yr's is indeed memorable & unforgettable! ((:

p/s. wishes really do come true.
some thoughts/wishes/hopes along the way through the yr 2009( i think),
i hope tt i could have someone special by the time i celebrate my 21st.
&, it really did come true.
I thank God for our fate & encounter to meet each other. (: <3

2009-12-25T23:34:00.008+08:00

23 Dec 09- Wednesday

watched Avatar with bf.
wanted to after seeing the trailer when we were catching the sneak preview of New Moon.

didn't regret watching, and it is really highly recommended to all.
i think every bit about it IS AWESOME.
storyline, effects, graphics, audio...
all in all, 2 THUMBS UP!

on our way to Marina Square. (:

24 Dec 09- Thursday

it's Christmas eve.

this was supposed to be given to him on the 24th or 25th,

but i gave him on the 22nd instead cos im afraid it wont be fresh by then.

baked and made with xh on the 21st. (:

and this was from him to me. (:

After which, accompanied bf for "Christmas Shopping" in town.

apparently it was a wrong choice of shopping period to squeeze in the crowds,

but could understand cos he is starting work soon.

i was the fashion consultant again, but this time for a guy.

helped him pick his working outfits, and i realised guys are wayyyy troublesome than girls when it comes to shopping.

plus their limited choice of clothes to choose from.
eh-hems. ;)

had our dinner at Ding Tai Fung and smth amusing happened.

but i might be beheaded if i were to reveal it here.

but i really think my 配合度值得奖赏.

Hilarious. :D

After which was off to Henderson waves!

finally gt to visit there.

it's beautiful and wonderful at night for a breather.

very windy and rather cold.

rather suit the Christmasy mood. (:

a pity i couldnt take much pictures of it.

~~stupid camera is a serious goner;~~

hp's night mode is ~~useless~~;

bf's hp flash is ~~too bright.~~ ):

someone sponser me a new camera! :D

stayed there till around 1.20am and cabbed back home after that.

25 Dec 09- Friday

brought brother to watch Alvin & the Chipmunks 2 along with bf.

i look so fair tgt with him, but do not be deceived.

apparently i am still tan, just that, he is wayyyy darker after his camp.

THEODORE IS SO ADORABLE!

hurhur.

mentioned it b4 during the 1st movie,

and he still is.

this time, along with Eleanor!

cant stand these 2 chubby creatures! :D

Brittany is pretty though.

heh.

& i like it when the chipettes are singing Single ladies.

nice!

so cute.

bf's jealous i'm always praising Theodore more than Alvin.

and ofcourse my preference btw the two.

nonetheless,

i still ♥ my chipmunk.

-though i ♥ Theodore more. ((:

2009-12-22T22:36:00.002+08:00

sometimes idk to feel up or down.

~~uncertainties & concerns you do not know.~~

2009-12-15T10:30:00.002+08:00

had a dream which left my emotions almost uncontrollable.
fearing what will happen, ~~had happened~~.
eyes have been watery eversince i got up.
recollection of that is disturbing too.

such dreams are indeed forbidden.
does that further prove the fear in me?

2009-12-11T07:09:00.002+08:00

this is bad.
weird, that im getting lesser slp these days.
why?
woke up like, since 5 plus or 6 though i went to bed at 2am.

sometimes, dont u wish u could draw a line to stop where you're heading for?
lack of faith; or fear of pain.
i seem to be feeling more of these of late.
you know what they say about the harder u fall as u allow yrself to sink deeper.
i guess it's a normal thing wanting to pull out a layer of shield.
then again, is it fair?
you can never have the best of both worlds, isnt it?

even so, i cant find the strength to even try to withdraw alr.

2009-11-29T23:42:00.002+08:00

sometimes, i wish that others could see things and feel how we feel from our point of view..

2009-11-28T23:55:00.004+08:00

Would you take the risk in diving deep into the sea, knowing the possible consequences you would face beneathe,
or would you force yourself and struggle up to the surface of the water, having fear to face the possible creatures lurking beneathe it, yet not wanting to give up on any chance of survival?
.
.
.
.
it's always a matter of choice isnt it?

it's not easy having to struggle within the 2,
especially when you know very well that you're sinking deeper into the ocean floor each & every minute..

so, would you continue to struggle for survival, or take a risk in reaching the ocean floors?

side tracking,
"What do you do...when the one you live for leaves you?"
the tagline on New Moon poster.
gets ppl thinking, isnt it?

watched the Sneak preview today.
now, i cant wait for the 3rd movie alr.
heard sm ppl's comment was awesome.
but somehow, i couldnt feel it.
mayb i was expecting too much.
but seriously, the book is a thrillion times better.

time flies.

humans are so vulnerable.
so am i.

2009-11-20T19:54:00.003+08:00

" Sometimes events happen that are so significant to who we are, that the impression they make lasts a long time in both our feelings and in our values, Capricorn. Sometimes they become the root of issues we have with others and with ourselves because of our emotional connection to these memories. You may find yourself thinking about a person from the past, or a time that could have made a difference in your life. Unless you are trying to life out a role created for you by someone else, this could be a beautifully nostalgic day. "

it is.
but not just me alone though.
- everyone in TG6 is "TG6-sick". ):

it's like, back to square one again.
with unfamiliar ppl.
2 more wks..
quoting from syaz,
"it's either we make, or we break." ):

2009-11-19T20:22:00.002+08:00

the day shld, and did end in a positive note-
though it's the last day TG6 gets tgt as a class.
photo-takings and "awards ceremony"- joyous.

until, the downhill part came along.
went on board the bus and it was faulty.
got down with the rest of the passengers at the next stop.
&! there comes the zzz part as i get on to the next bus.
ARGH.
im so irritated and ~~disgusted.~~
2nd time alr!
same method and same bus service!
why! ):
i felt like chopping off the person's fingers.
& i hope that person's fingers rot and drop off.

sounds evil and mean, but i believe everyone would agree and stand on my side.
and even come up with more vicious words. :D
POPEE! i wanna complain to you~!!!!!!!

tmr onwards- start of our elective modules.
2 more wks.
seriously ~~not looking forward~~ to working life. ):

2009-11-14T19:38:00.007+08:00

no class ytd, so was out with Syaz.
from town, to expo, to airport.
did some retail therapy,
mainly for work as usual.

feels great once in a while,
especially after a period of routinal life.

all these are taken at the airport.

butterfly print

boat print

christmasy

and us.

don't know why at the end of the day,

my left foot ended up with blister.

not wearing a new pair of shoe, but still, a big piece of skin fell out.

disgusting, i know.

on the 12th, which was a thursday, was the last day of our communications module.

had groups role play.

with pizza as lunch, treated by our v nice lecturer, ms lim. (:

i believe all ms lim are nice people. :D

hohoho, generalising. :P

but she's really good and nice. (:

it was a fun and entertaining day.

with group photos taken in btw the lessons, and also b4 we left for the day.

just 3 more wks b4 everything ends, and it's back to work agn.

i know im sort of contradicting myself b4 i left for work to training.

but now, i really dont feel like gng back to school. =X

i'm enjoying student cum adult life in this way right now.

mixing with people from such vast backgrounds and ages.

ppl my age, to my parents', and even my grandparents'.

i guess am lucky to be part of this grp. (:

yet to get the group photos- can't wait though.

randomly,

it's freezing cold today.

brrrr.

2009-10-23T18:11:00.006+08:00

1st thing 1st,
Happy Birthday to my lil devil brother. :D

Heh. was taken some time ago.
not today.
will be celebrating his bday later on.

anws, went to buy sticky again.
since bro asked me to when he got to know im returning to riverwalk today.
tried the grapes alr, bt nt the cherry yet.
alright, but i tot it tasted a lil like the runny nose syrup.
still prefer the watermelon. (:

this was drawn during lecture after lunch.
nth to do, and i realised i always doodle the most in her lecture.
nuraini asked me to draw cos she wants to see my drawing.
so i actually drew the head only.
it's her pencil case btw.

after which i passed on to syaz to draw.
hurhur.
and then nth better to do,
so i continued drawing the rest of it.

nuraini was like so impressed,

though i really think my drawing suck.

cos in comparison with others,

mine's nth.

and then after which i asked her to draw my minnie(hp sock).

and then after which we then contd listening to the lecture.

and we both agreed on syaz being diagnosed ADHD. :D

all the symptoms are present.

and then when the lec got on to the next pt,

we realised nuraini got ODD!

haha, was rather funny for that few moments.

im the only normal one, as usual. :DDD

will be such a bore after tonight.

wkends will be burnt for doing my 1800 word essay.

yet to start. ):

how sad.

sighs.

2009-10-19T23:45:00.003+08:00

15 oct was bf's bday.

16 oct was the celebration.

look what she did;
and the pressie for her.

19 oct, which is today, is my laopo's bdae.
com. (:

celebrated her birthday ytd.

yy said my face looks similar to the smiley on the 4th pic..
which i tot i looked pretty scary.

hence they solo-ed me for the pic for reenact again.
but i cant do it again.
my lips are either downturned or straight. =/

okayyyyyyy.
more pics uploaded at FB as usual.

bedtime.
nights all. (:

2009-10-13T22:39:00.003+08:00

just realised a bling2 behind my hp is gone!
and then i wanted to take a pic of it.
and it was only then i realised one of the bling2 on my camera is gone too!
why! ):

easily amendable;

but lazy to do so.

hurhur.

& & &,

i got a packet of sweet at the basement today.

finally spotted this sweet.

the jar ones are really pretty.

and it is rather interesting to see how they make it.

ingenious ppl. (:

randomly bought a flavour.

decided on watermelon ones cos normally watermelon flavoured candies have got a sweet smelling scent.

and yes indeed. (:

there's "DIYs" preorders available too if you want,

like for special occasions.

they're really sweet, cute & pretty!

i like! :D

seems like i'm promoting for them.

heh.

habit vs nature

2009-10-01T20:29:00.007+08:00

lacking of updates.
busy as an excuse,
lazy might be a reason.

dont feel like blogging, still.
not in the mood to.

but to pass time,
why not?

______________________________________________________

25th Sept 09- Friday.

@ Syaz's hse for Raya.

27 Sept 09- Sunday

singing with wife-ys.

30 Sept 09-Wednesday.

which was ytd.
studying by the riverside.

that's bout all.

it's the 1st alr.
how fast time flies.
Happy Childrens' Day btw.
& i sort of miss interacting with my girls.
sighs.
_________________________________________________________

situations of such never fail to bring me down.
& it's here to gnaw into me yet again.
change is inevitable- yes.
but what if it's really instilled and part of you?
old habits die hard.
but it's not a habit.
it's ~~me.~~

2009-09-17T20:54:00.000+08:00

down with flu yet again.
always at the wrong point of time.
urgh.

An entire week of "getaway"

2009-09-05T16:45:00.010+08:00

2 Sept 09- Wednesday

brought 2L to the Bird Park along with the other P2 classes.

have to say everything went great and smooth.

and i also got to bond with this class. (:

3 Sept 09- Thursday

went to

with 1P along with the other P1s classes. (:

sat with 1C with 8 of my 1P girls to and fro.

sat with Elica from 1C cos she's sitting alone at the back of the bus.

talked to her and then i realised she has a sister from 2L.

she's very fun loving and adorable.

she actually video cam-ed her strawberry shortcake bag while singing a tune, trying to make t look as if the character is singing.

not shy at all though im sitting beside her. (:

and then she asked for permission to take a picture of me.

and then we took tgt.

and after 2 days of walking and suntanning,

look at my feet.

my toes are now fairer. =/

4 September 2009- Friday

went to 1L for class and when i brought them down for recess,

asked the girls in front if they enjoyed their excursion ytd.

then i heard 1 of the girls telling the other tt she couldnt recognise me ytd cos i tied up my hair. =/

well anws, left sch at 1pm to bring 3 P5 girls down to NTU for young innovators' fair.

our booth is always packed.

dont know why.

so went up stage with 1 of my girls to collect their certs and some momentos.

left arnd 5plus and cabbed back to sch.

reached sch arnd 6pm.

went back to the staff rm to put our thing while the girls collected their bags.

1 of the teachers gave me this bt she actually wanted to get me a card.

ha.

cos ytd marked the last day there.

no feelings actually.

neither happy nor sad to leave.

will be gng back there next yr though, after my training ends.

short hair, short hair.

can only play with my hair this way cos i know it wun look like that if i really cut it.

NTU is horribly huge.

cabbing there ytd was alr quite 0-0" kinda feeling.

cant imagine the next 3 mths travelling there.

and wonders how it will be like, and for students travelling there for 3 or 4 yrs?

salutes.

and, just felt that a sudden change at this pt of time is weird.

just as i was about to feel more settled;

just as i got closer and more bonded with the girls,

things just have to change.

seems like this change is at a wrong pt of time,

yet, it's inevitable.

now, i got to learn to adapt to another lifestyle,

in a new environment.

3 mths here and there.

oh wells, oh wells.

Happy Teachers' Day!

2009-08-31T21:20:00.010+08:00

din expect anything, to be honest.
1st thing 1st is, i dont have a form class,
and i dun teach much.
and im only arnd for 2 months.

to my surprise, there are lil gifts for me. (:

i'm surprised by the fact that, these gifts are from girls whom i didnt have much contact with.
most of the time, i just went to sit in their class.
on the contrary, girls whom are more attached/ familiar with me arent the ones approaching me.
weird huh.

love these lovely pink roses.
1 is real, the other is fake.

poor rose's gonna wither soon after all my retail therapy. =X

we have this "amazing walk" as a bonding game w our students.
i was attached to a p4 class which i din step into b4.
din look forward to it much due to the lack of familarity.
but it turned out fine and rather fun in fact. (:

8 stations in total. 8 qns to solve/complete.

an example of 1.

after the entire thing, we proceeded to Scotts Royal for our lunch buffet.

din know the Bread Torque was at Scotts Royal though i've seen it on the news b4. =X

with the contract/new teachers.

SY has to purposely mimic CY's 招牌动作

and then asked me to do the same as well to 刺激 her.

work's fun & light hearted with these 2 arnd. (:

trying to irritate CY still.

supposedly to be a sweet shot of being fed by FS but turned out hilarious.

the cold dishes at the top.

chocolate fondue.

& ice cream.

the mouth-watering desserts. (:

& after all the sinful indulgence, WN and i went to shop arnd town while SY & CY went home, and some others went singing.

bought a dress and a skirt. =X

but glad to get a mini retail therapy. ((:

happy & contented. (:

anws, got this from VP.

to all teachers.

front of the bk.

back.

2 of which i really agree to.

after all these yrs,

im actually experiencing this day from a different pt of view.

and, it's really an amazing and indescribable feeling.

it's not about having gifts or anth,

but certain acts and appreciation really do mean alot on this special day.

although they ought to be like this every single day.

but i think this day gives all teachers a chance to refuel themselves & gear on;

telling them they have made a right choice in making an impact/ difference in their students' lives.

though i, myself, am still unsure if i should subsequently, move on to become a full-fledge one.

was rather shocked by someone's word,

not in the same sch.

was telling me she was rather sad that the students whom she have helped effortlessly didnt give her anth or wish her.

and asked if she shld ignore them subsequently.

i was really shocked.

personally, i feel that,

in the 1st place, if u 1 2 be a teacher,

u ought to be a selfless person.

at least, students above self.

you alr know that's yr job.

so, how can u actually even have such a thought in the first place?

is it all abt the gifts?

so if u receive smth from a particular student,

you'll dote on that particular student like nuts while u ignore and hate those whom came empty handed?

just felt that such thoughts are really unforgivable.

so shld i ignore all my p1s ust because i helped them so much yet didnt receive anth from them?

it's rather upsetting to have people having such thoughts, isnt it?

oh wells.

wednesday!

going to take over a p2 class for 1 of the teachers.

going to Jurong Bird Park.

abit worried for myself abt controlling them/missing students.

heh.

hope everything goes well and they listen to me.

*cross fingers & prays hard*

2009-08-22T15:26:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to my beloved Xh.

Enjoy your day with J today.

it's so cool that both their birthdays fall on the same day, isnt it? (:

2009-08-15T16:44:00.002+08:00

hello folks.
almost forgotten.
tonight's episode of

is a must watch episode kae!
hahas. not just because my family and i will be appearing on tv,
but because this episode's really entertaining.
funnier than other episodes, really. ((:

for more photos,
refer to my FB as usual.
cos am lazy to upload them here. :P

watch out for this lady anyway.
pink from top to toe.
super hilarious. :D
main source of entertainment, i'd say. :D

finally a decent family photo since eons.
cherished*

better if dad's closer to me though.
but my bag's to be blamed la.
din notice. =X
oh well.
must watch okay. ((:

when the goodness of others are being made use of

2009-08-14T23:24:00.004+08:00

upon reaching home at the void deck,
i was approached by familiar yet, unfamiliar faces..

remember i once blogged about being approached by a malay couple pushing a stroller,
saying their kid is asmatic, needing to see a doc etc?
wa.. they used the same method lo.
气死我.
i was like, just shaking my head though i still behaved in a way full of guilt.
normal reaction for a feeling person like me.
but the more i think, the more agitated i got.

i thought it was one or 2 weeks ago.
but i realised it's been almost a month!
so, they've been here to scam ppl's money for so long alr leh.
hanging arnd the vincity,
cheating kind souls and stuff.
i was wondering if i shld call the cops lo.
got home, told mum abt it and asked her if i shld.
typical as it is,
singaporeans mindset.
"多一事不如少一事".
ofcourse she din phrase it so nicely.

argh.
dread ppl who makes use of other ppl's goodness lo.
1 month leh.
天啊.

but if i ever bump into them again,
i think i'd be calling the cops alr.
i'm gonna ask them if they even found me familiar for it'll be the 3rd time seeing me,
and ask if they shld actually be clever enough at least, not to use the same old excuse,
and to hang arnd the same area.
stupid ppl seriously.

crappy, isnt it?
maybe my reaction's too big, you'll think.
but i really dont like the feeling of others having to 滥用别人的同情心 lor.
seriously, why are there such ppl arnd.

argh.
nvm. i shall cool down once again.
as i've said b4,
what goes around comes around.
i'm just worried for your kid, if he is even their own flesh, that is.
what if the karma ends up on the lil one but not themselves?
sinners.

on a random note.
had an auto car lesson today.
it's really way relaxing when i drive.
less stressful as compared to driving a manual car. =/
and what im a lil not used of is, having my left leg handicapped.
but then again, your hands are free cos u dont have to bother abt changing of gears.
din feel regretful abt having chose manual,
but just worried abt passing it later the yr. =/
oh well oh well.

2009-08-12T00:13:00.004+08:00

Hello fellow earthlings.
i've got SO much to blog about, and there are TONs of pics to be uploaded!
a total of 3 days worth of events to be blogged.

and, thanks to Syaz and HengHui who told me about my blog redirecting to another site.
ha.
i gave up trying ytd.
i guess it's trying to tell me it's time for a new look.
everything's pretty much done except the fact that the tagboard is not aligned,
which i duno how to, and cant be bothered alr.
Ha. so that's that for the time being.
shall just leave it as it is. :D

so, i've separated each entries for easier reading,
i hope.
___________________________________________________________________
11 Aug 09- Tuesday.

slept for only 2 hrs ytd.
super tired and took a 2 hr nap upon finished bathing wen i got home.

not sure if it's due to the fatique,
but im feeling more of the greys again.
when things like that happen,
i ask myself,
where have all my passion gone to.
it's not dead,
but i realised as long as it is anything outside classroom,
i just dont find anything meaningful or worthwhile.
i dont want to let the passion and fire burn out,
but i realised it aint easy to reignite it anymore,
in a way or another.

& sometimes, i even feel ~~unworthy to be called a teacher by the students.~~

gotta maintain a even more positive mindset tmr onwards.
shall try my best to keep going,
at least for a yr.

enough of all the rubbish.
go on to the other entries. (:

10 August 2009- cin's belated birthday celebration

2009-08-11T23:52:00.004+08:00

went out with folks for lunch and walked arnd b4 i went for driving.

almost bumped into a car in front of me, whereby i was shocked and said, "shit".

i think the instructor also xiao dao not cos i almost knocked into the car in front,

but cos my words stunned him.

ha.

he was like, "see you so lady-like, shit here shit dere."

-.-

so kua zhang.

i only said once lo.

furthermore, it's not a word of too over right?

女孩子就不能讲吗?

奇怪.

well anws, met up with ver after tt.

went MOF for dinner;

asked the person to keep the cake for us in advance,

which i pushed to her immediately as i saw the others approaching.

after dinner,

asked cin to acc me to the ladies while i stalled for time for the others to prepare. :D

brownie cake for her.

and she starts posing with it like she's advertising for the watch.

wanted to exchange this with hers cos she got the "DY" but ver said hers was bigger.

so, i shall just go ahead with eating her name "CIN".

love the pretty lil hearts on it.

brownies cheers.

and BF got the "BIRT". :D:D

and we sat by the stairs to talk b4 leaving to catch the last bus home.

and we met 2 grps of police on petrol,

and got our names written down in the 1st grp's. =/

so scary.

ha.
but we're good ppl so there's nth to be worried about. :D

that's all for the day. ((:

hope u had fun and enjoyed yrself ni2. ((:

NDP 2009

2009-08-11T23:38:00.004+08:00

so, bro and i were lucky to get the chance to watch this yr's NDP live thanks to Alvin. (:
ha, well anws, we went to our grandparents' for awhile b4 leaving late afternoon.

lazy to really blog.
so just make do with pics/captions. (:

the scene where the camera takes the view of everyone holding this in the dark is beautiful.

fireworks were awesomely beautiful.

to see videos of it, go to my fb profile page cos im lazy to load it in here. :D

this yr's NDP's really different from other yrs and i think it's really good.

that's all folks. ((:

celebration of National day in school

2009-08-11T23:21:00.004+08:00

7 Aug 09, Friday.

the girls were having this activity, which im lazy to explain.

the day went pass rather quickly.
and after which was lunch at Swensens at J8 with the new teachers.
which my mood was brought down quite abit after hearing all the exchanging of views.

trusts.

2009-08-07T23:40:00.004+08:00

you know this thing about trust/trusting?
it's never smth easy to handle and deal with,
especially when you have entitled others to.
and, the feeling really suck.
cos you'll gotta start everything all over again,
thinking why you've given others this trust in the first place.

sometimes,
it's really not easy being ~~human,~~
don't you think so?

~~it's weird realising that the entire day revolves around the same thing.~~
~~ultimately, we've all got to realise that people do wear masks, and might nt portray themselves as who they really are.~~

2009-07-28T20:30:00.003+08:00

got another feedback from a girl when i went into a class today.

"Ms Lim, did you cut your fringe?"
"Ya, why?"
"You look different."
"Okay. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
*smile2*

sighs from within & helped her contd.
"You prefer the previous one also ar?"
*nods head*

RAWRS.
super sad can.
i din know it's this bad.
Ha.
TSK.

and i feel really ~~fat~~ these days.
especially ~~fat.~~
seriously needa ~~lose weight.~~ =/

cute student & more RHD photos

2009-07-27T19:51:00.007+08:00

went to a class today and saw two girls giggling and whipering into each other's ears,
while i was standing outside the class.

"must be my hair" , i thought to myself.
Tsk.
den i stepped in, & one of the girls in front asked me.

"Ms Lim, did you cut yr fringe?"
"Ya, why?"
"i like the previous one better."
"Oh, you mean the one before i cut it?"
"Ya."
"Oh, why? Not nice ar?"
"The other one's nicer."
~~*stabs heart silently*~~

haha.
so cute can.
she actually asked me abt it.
SIGHs.

Esther and Melissa din really realise tt i DID cut my hair lo, except for my fringe which was the most ~~obvious~~ one.
but only Siau Yen realised i did cut my hair alot cos it used to hang arnd my waist.
TSK.
i still think alot of hair's gone.
bt anws, fringe's still the main concern.
see, even a P1 said so.
okay, it seems tt cutting fringe myself is, and has been a very good choice.
i shall contd grooming my own fringe by myself from today on.
but for now, i really want my fringe to grow~

and now, a couple more pics to go on RHD celebration. (:

Melissa.

Hui Ting.

Esther.

that's all.

a pity it's Melissa's & Esther's last week this week.

hopefully they'll be posted back here again after their training. (:

till then, goodbye.

24th July 09- racial harmony celebration (:

2009-07-25T23:04:00.004+08:00

so, as mentioned, our school celebrated our Racial Harmony on 24th July, which was ytd.
have always, or at least, most of the time, enjoyed events of such,
though some people might feel tt it's a hassle and stuff.
but i always thought such things are fun and give us a break from the usual routine.

havent got all the pictures in yet.
but here's what i've got so far.

early in the morning as we got changed/dressed in our attires,
though fu shan havent changed into hers yet.

1st take, naz said we all look dead.
so 2nd take, i did tt.
3rd take, a grp photo of most of the new teachers.
4th take, tt's Siau Yen in white, which most ppl, and herself, felt tt she's dressed up for a wedding.

everyone, or most of the teachers who saw me, kept on complimenting on my dressing. :D

kept asking how i got the top/skirt,

where to buy and stuff.

hohoho.

i've got gd taste.

hahaha. =X

but also thanks to Syaz for lending me ofcourse. (((:

den Naz decided to take a solo pic of me as she really thinks i look good in it. (:

den den den, after a class with my one of my P1 classes,

i took the class down for recess and and and,

i actually asked a few of the girls to take pics.

hahah!

heard some comments from my cuz abt such actions,

but idc lo.

i cant help it kae.

Haha.

look at them!

damn cute i tell you!

i super love the girl at the bottom left pic.

the one in red.

love her eyes.

super round and 水汪汪 kind.

those kinda eyes i'm sure everyone, esp guys, will fall for and be mesmerized in them. (:

was testing each girls the previous wk, for a decoding test.

and for her, after reading each word,

her eyes will look up at me,

like she's afraid she'd mispronounce it or smth,

or to check tt i've heard her prounounced the word.

i cant help to smile/ almost wanting to break out in a small laughter.

super adorable! <3

they are the reasons to put a smile across your face despite a tiring/bad day. (if there are) ((:

after which,

there was an hr of celebration/assembly at the hall.

there's a "competition" btw the girls from each classes, for the best dressed.

the winner will be crowned the princess of our school.

and there's also a Queen for the teachers.

all the teachers were supposed to go up one by one, to the stage.

but there's a few of us who din go up.

and, i was one of them. :P

while walking to the hall, was stopped by 2 of the teachers saying i could be nominated to be one of those who are best dressed.

but i fleed away, and as mentioned, din go up the stage.

aftermath?

alot of teachers who walked past me after going up the stage/ saw me in the staff room, asked why i didnt go up, and pressed on i shld have to!

heh.

but anws it din matter, cos it's all abt the fun of dressing up.

in the end, 2 of the fairly senior teachers crowned the title! ((:

happy for them.

and then, met up with cuz in the evening for H.P & the H.B.P.

was alr after midnight after the movie ended.

agree with the majority who've watched it.

this one's not as nice as the previous few.

but nonetheless, it's alright la.

and i kept yawning in the midst of it,

and after watching the movie.

but it's not becos it's boring.

it's becos i'm tired.

then, there's one part where i yawned when the big spider was dead.

Ver turned to look at me,

seeing my watery eyes.

and gave me a kind of =/ look.

cos she thought i actually cried/feel sad over the spider?

haha.

funny.

and randomly, i did smth stupid a few mins ago.

parents asked me to test whether my lime juice(hand sqeezed) was spoilt,

b4 i make my lime water to drink,

becos it's been left in the fridge for quite a while.

so just now, as i stirried the lime concentration,

i actually scooped up a spoonful of it and put inside my mouth.

& in the midst of this action (within a sec or so),

my brain then sent a signal to me telling me not to, cos the concentration's super sour,

and i shldnt do tt.

but it was too late as i realised this,

and the concentration's inside my mouth, down my throat.

SUPER SOUR.

stupid.

haha.

oh, and i just cut my hair today.

an inch or so.

and as usual,

i think i look kiddish.

TSK.

it's always like tt after a hair cut, isnt it? =/

2009-07-23T20:40:00.005+08:00

this week has been a fairly tiring week.
but nonetheless, TGIF tmr. (:

Siau Yen actually mentioned that she thinks that i'm really a matured person as we chatted just now.
even way matured than she is.
(p/s. she's actually older than me, old enough to be my mum)
she said tt i'm a person who knows how to think logically and handle situations accordingly.
hearing words of such once in a while is indeed some sort of comfort,
though it aint the first time hearing such comments.

since young,
i've always thought tt it is obvious to one, of the correct paths to choose,
and the course of actions they should take.
eg, behavioural wise.
then again, it's actually up to an individual/ character for one's actions and stuffs.

have always been the pillar of strength to most people,
most of the time.
and for me, it's not easy to find someone whom i can click and connect with easily.
Siau Yen, for some reasons, just hit off with me,
despite the huge age difference.
however, the roles we play is kinda opposite.
i'm more "motherly" in a sense tt i will tell her what she shouldnt have done and stuff and break down the analysis for her.
to her,
i'm a positive/happy person, while she's the negative and sad kinda person.
on the contrary, i think i'm playing her role usually.
cos im always a worrier and nv much of a happy-go-lucky kinda person.
perhaps to her, im giving her alot of morale boost and courage to move on.
and she's super sad she gotta live w/o me for 3 months and dreading sept's arrival.
Ha. din know i play such an impt role.

anws, idk why i've said so much suddenly.
perhaps of a short while of smth tt just happened.
let it be if you think the above are self praisings,
as Siau Yen suan-ed me as.
HA. idc alr.

still remembered i was quite bothered with this during a certain period of time when i was still young.
and dont know since when, somehow, i started to 看开 and say, be more sensible to things like tt alr.
but whenever such topics are raised or situations told by myself,
cant help to feel some sort of 委屈 kind of feelings in me.
just gotta shoo such thoughts away.
okay, i shant talk about this anymore.

on a brighter note,
last wk i was pretty excited about tmr.
Tuesday was Racial Harmony Day.
My school's celebrating it tmr.
yay?
kinda no feelings alr actually.
anws, thanks to Syaz for lending me yr Baju Kebaya. (:
loves. <3

hopefully there'll be pics taken tmr.
im hoping to take some with the sweeties that make my day,
but i dont know if i'll get the chance to.
oh wells, till then.
goodbye. (:

food for thoughts

2009-07-20T21:36:00.007+08:00

1st thing 1st,
I PASSED MY FTT in my 1st attempt!!
Hohoho, happy de lo. :DDDD
smiled to myself when that "PASSED" word appeared on screen gradually upon completion of the test. (:
but then have to force myself to hold back the smile cos i think it's abit nuts. heh.

wanted to book my TP test, but i realised this part's gonna be a headache alr.
now i hope tt i'll be in school for a longer period,
and that training would be starting later.
still wondering how i'm gonna solve this.
headache.

well anws,
some food for thoughts.
or rather, something to let you think about.

on my way out to take bus to CDC just now,
i passed by this Malay couple with a kid in the pram.
i actually saw a teenage boy passing 5 bucks to him at a distance alr.
was thinking to myself why.

so, the guy explained that they actually took a cab here to get their kid to the clinic,
but it's closed.
and the mum (his wife) actually left her bag in the cab,
in which her wallet/ money are inside,
so they dont have any money with them now.
they tried contacting their aunt who lives nearby,
but to no avail.
so, they've got no choice but to ask strangers (us passerbys) for money,
cos they need rush their kid down to KK Hospital.

so, if YOU were the one who is being approached,
will u lend them your money?
they said they would return though.

doesnt matter which course of action i took,
but i thought through and actually analysed deeper into it.
asked my parents bout it too.
both their answers were as what i've predicted.

anws, i was thinking,
if they took a cab here, they've gt money to pay.
if it was the mum who paid for the cab fare,
it's ridiculous tt she'll leave her stuffs behind.
cos she just took her wallet out from her bag.
if the dad paid for it,
it is possible tt he ran out of money.
but then again,
there's visa and nets payment in cabs alr right?
furthermore,
there is an ATM machine down the street lo.

so i actually do agree with mum tt there is a possibility of a hoax there.
but then again,
what i felt is,
if it is true,
i feel sorry & bad for them.
but if it's not,
then it's really too bad for them.
you know what they say about karma.
what goes around, comes around.

so, what will You do after all the analysis tt i've made?

how to celebrate my 21st?

2009-07-11T22:12:00.004+08:00

treated my folks to dinner just now.
& wasted 30 bucks on the membership card thanks to my adorable father.
haha. TSK. nvm.

SIGHs.
parents have been asking me how to go about celebrating my 21st these days.
&, i seriously have no idea!
though it's only July now,
but i do understand where they are coming from.
it's less than 6 months to go,
and i havent thought a lil about anth.
can i not be an adult?
i dont mind staying as a kid. ):

should i get a chalet?
should i keep it simple?
what to do;
how to plan?

i so seriously suck at planning & decision makings. ):
any suggestions are greatly appreciated ppl~

fever yet agn

2009-07-10T20:43:00.002+08:00

this is bad.
okay, maybe not bad,
just...not good.

sore throat & fatique sets in in the afternoon,
with bones aching and headaches too.
dont know why.
but feeling rather lethargic as the day proceeded on.

took a short nap upon reaching home,
thought i'd feel better.
but now, im feverish, yet again.

not very surprising being the front liners.
siau yen wants me to pass it to her if i really did ~~contract~~ anth. =/
weak immune system.
tsk.

updates

2009-07-08T23:12:00.003+08:00

for the sake of uploading of pictures.

6 July, Monday.

i realised i've got sore throat when i opened my mouth to speak to Syaz wen i met her.
tt's hw i got fever at the end of the day.

8 July, Wednesday.

which is today.
met up with my 3 ladies.

nth better to do.

pardon me. (:

for some reasons, i look ghostly white, i know.

till then, bye.

im alright!

2009-07-07T21:16:00.004+08:00

i'm feeling better.
just here to announce that i'm alright so tt people need not worry abt me alr. ((:
nor get paranoid about me really getting you-know-what.

well, it's a very sensitive period of time.
and flu gets ppl all worked up because of you-know-what.
somemore my environment kinda put me in a higher risk of getting it.
so, cant blame me for such thoughts.

but upon being sickly,
i was afraid of passing to ppl arnd me.
on the bus home ytd,
i held my breath when ppl are squeezing past me while moving to the rear.
upon reaching home, asked my parents and bro to keep a dist from me and i quarantined myself in my room,
asking my bro to slp with my folks. :D
*considerate*

well.
work's been the same with temp taking stuffs.
but today was alot more tiring due to running arnd the whole school.
did relieve for 2 classes too.
i really realised i've got no power.
my voice super CMI.
needa open my 嗓子. =/
gotta work hard on that.
ha.

ba-be-bi-bo-bu!
i'm researching on phonics and bro's laughing at me because a vid i was watching is rather entertaining to us.
even mum was shocked im watching such a vid.
but it's for the kids.
and he was re-enacting me as the teacher dng that funny actions and singing the song to the kids and he ROFL.
HAHAs.
super hilarious.
but oh wells. ((:

last but not least,
flu's really easy to get these days.
everyone pls take care of yourselves kae.

& also
to you,
i really do hope things will get better for you though the other end seems bleak right now.
nevertheless, stay strong & cheerful for me kae. ((:
you know i'm always here.
love you. (:

a suspect of H1N1?

2009-07-06T19:31:00.003+08:00

first it was a sore throat.
then, it was a lil feverish.

now, i'm running a fever.
there's chills and fatigue as well.
a suspect of H1N1?

i hope it gets better tonight,
or tmr morning.
i dont wanna be ~~quarantined.~~

update 26 june 2009-staff retreat @ sentosa/mount faber

2009-06-27T22:46:00.009+08:00

Updates on 26 June 2009, Friday.

Our school went for Staff Retreat @ Sentosa/ Mount Faber.
It was for team building.
Heard it's held yearly at different locations. (:

Ticket for the Luge & Skyride.
The Luge was AWESOME.
1st time taking it & seriously had fun with it.
it was really too short though. ):

& we began our Jewel Quest.

Our journey to different destinations.

Jewel Box is seriously not cheap.
All the new staffs are glad to be in it. ((:

Separated in different groups.

Mine's Aquamarine.

Everyone were given one brootch according to their Group/Jewel.

Aquamarine's nice. (:

none of us managed to capture our rides on the Luge cos it was too fast/yr hands were too preoccupied to do anth else.

but anws, we took the skyride back up.

it was pretty high.

we just sat dangling like tt.

it was this high.

well anws, so we headed to Jewel Box for lunch.

after which, we headed to the washroom b4 we head for a talk in the ballroom.

& & &, many of us were bewildered.

everyone we went in were wow-ed.

this view was from the toilet.

there was a fish tank in there too.

look at the design and concept layout.

isnt this awesome?

sorry for the blur pic.

even the toilet seat is so cute!

egg-shaped.

we all love the toilet so much.

that explains the pricing there.

HA.

well anws, so there were talks and another activity for us.

lazy to elaborate, so pics.

& i shall end it with a pic during lunch with my fellow new colleagues. (:

hadnt been doing much this week.

was only inductions, and meetings.

school officially starts next wk.

it's a big headache for teachers now,

with these H1N1 thingy rising.

salutes to all gov civil servants.

& lucks to me, syaz, and whoever who needs it. (:

& side tracking,

taiwan alr broadcasted the episode of 我猜 tt we were in last week.

i watched it online ytd night, and laughed hard, still.

it's still super funny.

PLUS.

we were captured quite a number of times.

HA.

and there's a short few secs with all 4 of my fam members (with a lil of dad only though),

that made me laugh.

cos both my brothers reaction were funny to me.

and it was only then i realised they do look alike. :D

go watch go watch!

if you are able to find it, good for you.

if not, i shall post the link+ pics wen i feel like it.

hoho.

SGP should be showing it earliest late july or mid Aug.

Goodbye. (:

shall end it with a quote here.
"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart."

love quote

2009-06-26T21:53:00.002+08:00

Stumbled upon this quote which i found meaningful.

"Never close your lips to those whom you have opened your heart." - Charles Dickens

but i wonder,
what if ~~silence~~'s your nature?

S.H.E - 锁住时间

2009-06-23T21:20:00.004+08:00

their album was officially launched ytd.

here's the song playing now,
and this is the mv. <3

S.H.E - 锁住时间

是桃花染红等待的脸
是鸳鸯弄皱三月的湖水
是春风围绕把我们圈在里面
思绪飞舞成蝴蝶

一并肩哪里都像花园
一牵手做每件事都像庆典
一谈心聊天走进另一个世界
有梦就会实现

锁住时间让感动蔓延
你的手心许着盟约
Oh一起锁住时间留更多纪念
最爱剪贴属于我们的细节

在不能见时种下思念
任思念开花结果长成眷恋
将眷恋串成独一无二的项链
吻在你的胸前

锁住时间让感动蔓延
你的手心许着盟约
Oh一起锁住时间留更多纪念
最爱剪贴属于我们的细节

我确定这次不会一眨眼
快乐就剩下照片幸福就剩下怀念
我听到真心碰到真心的瞬间
发出了清脆铃声像音乐美得人落泪
说一句肺腑之言让天听见
做一件无怨无悔的事让天看见Wooh
会不会天就忘了转动时间Wooh
看着我们的故事嫉妒又赞美

锁住时间让感动蔓延
你的手心许着盟约
Oh一起锁住时间留更多纪念
最爱剪贴属于我们的细节
锁住时间留更多纪念
最爱剪贴属于我们的细节

&, 1 of the setting's actually in a guitar shop. =/
brought back memories.

it's weird how things interlink somehow, in the queerest way ever.

updates 20-22 june 09

2009-06-21T15:18:00.009+08:00

20th June 2009, Saturday

went to celebrate yy's belated bday.

on our way to PS.

ate at Pastamania.
den walked arnd.

got this pink fluffy princess pen from a new Korea make-up shop.

with the bday girl.

after which we headed to Clarke Quay.
we were looking for a pub with a live band.
and finally settled down at YelloJello.

waited for the live band to start at 930pm.

with our drinks.
cant rmb xh's.
yy and i order Blue Lagoon while sj ordered sgp sling. (:

so meanwhile, there were alot of cam whoring.

bday girl with the bday present.

& then passing them the keychains i got for them.

each of us.

& then xh and yy went out to buy smth to eat,

while it's obvious what the other 2 cam-whores would do since they're left alone..

& then i suggested trying to do a cherry knot using our tongue.

1st time attempting it and i did it!

and then sj too. (:

& when the other 2 ladies are back,

yy taught us this 乌龟乌龟跳 game. ha :D

and finally, grp photos. (:

and ytd was Fathers' Day.

spent over at grandparents'.

and today was my 1st day of work.

was tired ytd night, but couldnt fall aslp.

and when i did, i kept waking up at intervals. =/

hence am rather tired now.

colleagues/teachers there are nice & friendly,

school ambience's pretty good.

but ofcourse, there's bound to be a down side to everything.

& ofcourse, its not nice/convenient to mention here openly.

nonetheless, i really do hope i enjoy my stay there. (:

good luck to me and my fellow friends. (:

currents

2009-06-19T21:31:00.003+08:00

oh boy.
i finally found a decent music player that autoplays.
TSK.
but most importantly, it's damn cute!
look at the bear's head move. :D

these 2 are sort of my top 5 songs lately.
wanted to put my number one here, but too bad i cant upload my own song.
it's S.H.E's 锁住时间.
been listening to it umpteen times everyday since the day i got my hands on it.
about 1 wk i think.
their album will be out on 22nd, the day i start work.
2 new songs and compilation of other previous songs.

both 锁住时间 & Crazier are the current phase of songs.

for now, Crazier.

Crazier- Taylor Swift

I'd never gone with the wind
just let it flow
let it take me where it wants to go
till you open the door
there's so much more
I'd never seen it before
i was trying to fly but i couldn't find wings
but you came along and you changed everything

you lift my feet off the ground
you spin me around
you make me crazier, crazier
feels like I'm falling and i
I'm lost in your eyes
you make me crazier, crazier, crazier

i watched from a distance as you
made life your own
every sky was your own kind of blue
and i wanted to know
how that would feel
and you made it so real
you showed me something that i couldn't see
you opened my eyes and you made me believe

you lift my feet off the ground
you spin me around
you make me crazier, crazier
feels like I'm falling and i
I'm lost in your eyes
you make me crazier, crazier, crazier

baby you showed me what living is for
i don't wanna hide anymooorreee

you lift my feet off the ground
you spin me around
you make me crazier, crazier
feels like I'm falling and i
I'm lost in your eyes
you make me crazier, crazier, crazier

updates

2009-06-19T18:53:00.002+08:00

abit lazy to blog.
but nonetheless, 1st thing 1st,
Happy Birthday to my beloved friends,
Yen Yin & Heng Hui! ((:
Hope both of u had fun and enjoyed yr day. ((:

so 17th, was out with the 3 ladies.
went to collect our grad photos, and went for lunch at Breeks.

& then we went to Esplanade for photo takings.

solos with each of them.

grps.

& then we walked down to Fullerton.

and tada.

that's all folks. ((:

feeling abit lazy/worried abt next monday.

dont know what's in store for me and what to expect.

i really hope i can manage.

gd luck to myself.

& days ahead will be busy & tiring i presume.

esp in Aug with all my practical lessons.

lucks to all with a gd healthy mind & body.

16 june 09

2009-06-16T23:20:00.002+08:00

hello3~!

2nd lesson of prac was awesome too.
i think driving is supreme fun! :D
i loikeeeeeeee. ((:

next lesson's on thurs. (:

a couple of 自恋-ing.
dont mind me. ((:

& then met up with Liyun.
Gelare's closed!
how sad.
so we shopped arnd instead and i got a dress for work, while she got her blazer.
then after shopping at FarEast we headed down to Udders for Ice cream.

hers on top, bottom's mine.

both her ice cream contains alcohol.
mine's hazel nut.
very sweet after several mouthfuls.
so kinda got abit sick of it in the midst of it.

hung arnd for a while b4 taking train to AMK.

the very nice me acc her to walk home to her bus stop cos she feels like walking home.
and then she waited with me for my bus from there.

& tada.

that marks the end of the day.

meeting up with another 3 girls tmr.

hoho.

told ya imma busy woman.

schedule's FULL. ((:

as each & everyday passes..

i havent felt like that for a very long time.

pc show madness

2009-06-15T22:18:00.002+08:00

4 days of madness ended!

wkends was uberly crazy though.
PC show was packed like sardines, and you can actually move thru the crowd even you're not moving by yrself.
it's like a swarm of bees larh.
being pushed forward by human traffic.

nonetheless, the last day ended happily.
was fun despite the fatique. ((:

CHELSEA! :D

she's very friendly larh.
made friends with all the brothers and sisters there v quickly.
not shy at all.
plus2.
i only get to know her on the 1st day of the PC show only,
and we hit off well!
and heard her say i like Yvonne best for some reasons.
hoho.
told my mum when she saw my dp, asking who was it.
told her about this and she said bout my 孩子缘 again. :DDD

I miss her larh! )):

anw, b4 we left to cab home in various teams. (:

and so, was so tired that i really just wanna lie on the bed the entire day.
but, being the 大忙人,
still gotta wake up and go Cisco for phototaking.
was in there less then 5 mins and i was out larh.
super fast.

after tt solo shopped at Sgpost.
wanted to buy working clothes cos i seriously have nth to wear,
plus, work is starting next wk!
super last minute, i know.
but really dun have the time. ):
most prob will be buying on thurs. (:

after which, headed to the driving centre for my 1st practical!
it was abit scary, but really fun!
hoho.
the instructor say im doing quite good for a 1st timer.
p.s plus im taking manual. :DDD
only 死车 a couple of times only.
initially was smiling to myself while driving larh.
duno why.
maybe cos i think it's unbelievable tt im actually driving!
hoho.
2nd lesson tmr. ((:

dont know when to book my 5th lessons +++, and my FTT.
no time, no time. ):

imma busy woman.
meeting liyun after my prac tmr, like finally. ((:

till then. see ya. (:

taiwan trip updates

2009-06-10T18:08:00.011+08:00

hellooooooooo folks!
im back in sgp ytd night.
it was a longgggggg ride home and i was awfully tired.
didnt slp much for almost 1 week.
the last day was the worse cos i slept for only an hour, with many intervals of waking up in btw.
dont know why.

well anws, replenished some bit of sleep today.
and here i am, gonna blog.
uber tons of pics.
but not all are here.
plus, i cant blog some bits of it because of copyright issues.
you'll know later as you read on. ((:

1st day- 5th June 2009.

on the plane

the food

and in the taxi to our hotel.

& we went to 西门町 at night cos it was rather near our hotel.

2nd day, 6 June 2009
bro's kfc breakfast, & my 卤肉饭

taking train to 淡水码头

& back to hotel to go to Shilin at night.

the food.

the not so nice dessert.

棺材板

& then back to the hotel later at night.

make-up less.
i feel like cutting my hair to this length but i always havent find courage to.
cos i know if i really snap it off, the outcome will look different though i think it looks pretty good like this. =/

Day 3- 7th June 2009

hopefully you'll notice a difference with my eyes. :D

double eye lids.

thanks to this. (:

idk why it says to stick fake eyelashes,

but behind it do state that it's for single eye lid peeps, like me. (:

anw, we went to 公館.

ate.

drinks.

my family.

& we were off to 五分铺 after that.

shopped and walked.

and then dinner time.

4th day, 8th June 2009.

took train to Kun yang station, then we cabbed to 中视.

cos these 5 days trip are all planned by my elder brother.

he's our itinerary planner.

Jacky wu's gonna retire at the end of this month,

so, he wanted to see him b4 he retires.

hoho.

& so, we're all captured in that episode.

and i cant blog much abt it nor upload pics/vids here due to copyright issues.

it'll be broadcasted in taiwan 2 wks later,

& a few months later here in sgp.

so, happy waiting!

haha.

it's a funny/weird must-catch episode. (:

let's all wait and i'll blog abt it, hopefully,

after sgp broadcasted it.

1 of S.H.E 代言的饮料.

not bad.

final day, 9 June 2009

at HK airport to change our flight back to sgp.

needa wait for another 2 hours.

nth to do so i started decorating my camera.

and then my phone, which is nicer.

it was drizzling in HK.

nice clouds above the mountains.

and in the middle of our flight back home.

the clouds are super nice larh.

it's like you're in some heavenly place.

super fluffy and feel like stepping on it.

nearer to sgp.

the horizon was more beautiful when you see it for yourself.

there was red outline above the orange actually.

beautiful sunset.

& then for the peeps awaiting for this.

idk wad to buy,

plus clothes are a headache with different styles and sizes of each different individual.

so, headache-ed enough and got this which i think is not bad.

hopefully you guys will like it too.

standardised it and yes, got it for myself too for different cliques.

hopefully u guys will like it kae. ((:

gfs.

syaz.

Cuzzies.

i randomly picked the designs one, so hopefully you all dont mind kae.

and my brother's too.

well so, that's all folks.

i haven calculated hw much i've spent.

bought bags, shoes, 2 formal skirts and tops for work.

mostly for work, as planned.

2 or 3 casual top i think.

and yes that's it.

tmr, back to working. ):

11 to 14th, IT Fair at Suntec.

goodbye. (:

4 june 09

2009-06-04T23:52:00.005+08:00

hello~ folks~!

so so so.
ytd night dkwhy i cant fall aslp.
so slept very lil.
and i gotta wake up early today to go sign contract.
and i was a tad lost and asked arnd for directions b4 i finally reached my destination.

and and and, i think im really the youngest person there larh.
which made me feel rather out of place and abit inferior.
idk why.
maybe cos they're all much more senior than me,
which means, more experience and knowledgeable, ofcourse.

so, 22 June's the start of attachment, which is alllllllllll the way till sept, whereby my training starts soon after.
all these means no more waking up late and im gonna adjust back to waking up early in the morning. =(
so not a morning person.

anws, after tt, syaz meant up with me at raffles and i went to do my checkup which took quite some time.

bunned up hair with robe.
for X-Ray.

Syaz said i looked as if i jz came out from a hot tub.
true.
haha. plus it'll make u rather bashful lor.
heh heh.

then went to PS to catch Monsters Vs Aliens.
it's good!
super duper love that blue blob larh!
uberly adorable.
plain dumb character but that's what makes ppl love him cos of his reponses.
love!

and there's so many niceeeeeeeeeeeeeee and good shows coming up soon.
dont know if it's possible to catch them all. ):

anws, pics.

then it was with the girls as we shopped arnd.

uh huh. den back home.

not bad a day.

at least met up with the girls whom i havent met for quite some time,

b4 i leave tmr.

or later today.

it's 12.14am.

ought to wake up in another 7 hrs or less.

but im still not slping.

hohoho.

adios ppl. ((:

hilarious "proposal".

2009-06-03T21:14:00.004+08:00

3 June 2009, Wednesday.
8:45:26 PM

someone proposed to me.

"hi. can i marry you?"

i think i ought to laugh,
but i feel that it's so absurd.

-.-"

update 23 may; reflections & feelings for the day

2009-06-02T01:18:00.006+08:00

back to blogging.
actually am pretty lazy to upload the pictures.
but since i've got nth better to do,
so...yea.
here i am.

23 May 2009, Saturday.
TP-BP Award Ceremony / really my last day in TP.

before the ceremony starts, while waiting.

after the ceremony, with the certs.

and then around the campus since it's our last day in school alr.

with syaz while Hayaty was away.

& then threesomes.

a pity rac wasnt arnd.

it was really hot & sunny but the clouds were awesome.

super love the pic that made us look like we're in some Lilliput town.

models wannabe?

the bottom act emo pic is <3.

lazy to b&w it.

on the bus to tamp.

chilled at Coffee Bean.

& Hayaty left to meet her friend while i waited for parents to meet me here.

so we rested/chilled at Tamp1 & snapped3.

tada.

that's all for that day.

so so so.

it was my last day of work on sunday.

kinda fast, thinking back.

today(mon) flew past fast as well.

watched movies online with bro.

yet another day tmr.

probably getting ready docs for thurs.

and ought to study my ftt.

flying off in 3 days.

dont feel any signs of excitement..

or yet.

dont know why.

oughtta be happy.

well anws, gonna change my entire wardrobe. =/

gotta get working/ decent/ appropriate clothings alr.

not tt my dressing aint decent or anth,

just....considered inappropriate to what i'd be going through soon.

thinking bout tt,

i'm having mixed feelings.

doubtful and unsure of capabilities, i guess.

well, shoo tt away.

cos, i know i ought to feel thankful that things are going my way.

so goodbye to clothings styles that are normally loved,

and hello to a brand new style.

______________________________________________________________

it's weird.

not sure if it's cos there's no more working,

that i'm free, or the surroundings.

my entire self just dont feel right.

the mind and the body.

lots of thoughts.

sometimes, i'd feel that i'm missing out a lot in my youth.

practically throwing away and wasting my precious life.

youths.

guess i'm really mature in my thinking,

that i seem to age fast,

that i dont do what most youths do?

what they claimed to be,

enjoying life and living life to its fullest.

what's your defination of it?

once again, topics of such are subjective.

sometimes, people around ask you certain things that they can or cannot live w/o,

wondering why you can handle and deal with it.

processing it awhile, i guess it's a matter of self-contentment, personality, and upbringing, i guess.

reflecting on it, i sometimes, find myself clueless, too.

unique, or weird, am i?

self- questionings just aint very good sometimes.

especially when it's overbearing.

i've always found myself fortunate and blissful in many ways as compared to others.

but as you know, being humans, just can't get enough of what they already have sometimes.

i need to find my own defination of happiness.

perhaps a new thought of what i've alr have.

~~so dreading this feeling.~~

sickly

2009-05-27T12:46:00.002+08:00

super unfit for work today.
taken MC.

still, travelled all the way there,
was breaking out in cold sweats and was about to vomit/faint.
cant tahan anymore,
alighted at Admiralty.

rested and after hanging out in the toilet for quite a while,
took train back from the opp direction.
supposed to alight at AMK,
once again,
CMI again.
dropped 1 station b4, at YCK.
hung around in the toilet again,
and then cabbed home.

went to see a doc.
took MC and meds.
came home.

you won't know how horrible i feel today.
imagine this.
menses cramps+diarrhoea+vomit+giddy spells.
i wonder if there's any better things that can come tgt all at the same time.
this is like,
HELL.
i really feel like dying at that point of time.

and no, this time i'm so not exaggerating.
& then, there's goes my 1 day of ka-chings.
stupid.
spent it all within an hour.
GRR.

updates wed-fri 20-22 may 09. 21 may, grad day

2009-05-22T17:17:00.038+08:00

Hello~~~ folks!
as you can see, i'm pretty lazy to blog about the details from the last entry that i mentioned..
so.... i'll give it a miss. :P

this week has been a pretty eventful week.
another one to go tmr. (:
so, didnt work this wk, but resuming work this sunday onwards,
till end of the month b4 i leave.

so let's see what's been happening these few days.
long entries with pichas! (:

Wednesday, 20 May 09.

went for my e-trials and then off to meet cuzzies.
went for Sushi Buffet!
Shiokness. ;)

MS toilet, as usual.

den 3pm finally came, and the above 2 are the b4s,
while the bottom 4 are kinda in the midst of eating.

and after smtime where we're all gonna be full.
see, they like to do this with their hands to spoil the pichas.
guess who?

grp snap.

and then i took these tall2 plates in front of me...

and then they helped me take.
different perspective summore. :D

i ate all these (okay, at least more than half).
but they kept denying lor.
they're just jealous~! :P
dont deny.

then3, came the desserts!

different flavoured mochi-s. (:

frozen strawberry.

they were shiokness. ((:
and i was bo liao so i did this.

and the really ending part of our buffet.

Thursday,21 May 09-
Graduation Ceremony 2009.

goodbye matric card.
(ignore hideous+fat face)

and the b4.
with syaz (:

with IAD frens.

with mum and cindaeeeee

coursemates.

on the stage receiving my certs from moses.
(my daddy-look-alike) (:

and after the ceremony.
with parents.

and fam, individually.

all of em'.
except my elder bro ofcos.

din have the opportunity to contd snapping with the rest of the mates cos parents were arnd so din stay much longer after tt. ):

went to HG mall for our dinner.
at LJS though.
with bro.

& lastly, at home.

just one solo pic.

& finally,
Woohoo~
I'm officially a Graduate! ;)

Friday, 22 May 2009

& finally, today.
went for 2 more sessions of e-trail before my actual BTT at arnd 3pm.
& & &,
I passed on the 1st attempt! :D

teehee.
nth to be proud of.
but just heh-pi. (:

eh-hems.
&, to you-know-who-you-are, if you're seeing this.
not to rub salt onto your wounded wound wounds agn,
but jia you beh! ;)

hoho, and next rd, is my FTT.
Hope everything goes smoothly too.

tmr will be my award ceremony, which means gng back to school again.
which also means more pichas tmr. (:

& lastly, i'm still waiting for VOG to contact me.
it's been more than a wk or so.
been waiting till my neck is longggggggggggggggggggggg. =/
faster calll meeeeeee.

okay.
it's more than enough an entry.
goodbye. (:

i'm a runaway bride

2009-05-13T23:55:00.003+08:00

Yvonne-
the runaway bride.

I shall go into details again next time.

jubilant daeeeeeee :D

2009-05-06T18:04:00.003+08:00

06 May 2009.

today,
is a day of contentment.

1 thing is.
it's my off day,
and i finally had enough rest- 11hours of sleep.

another thing is..
at arnd 4pm, when i log into my email account...
and i saw this particular email sent at 06 May 2009 14: 58PM.
i havent even read anything,
but i practically held my laptop in my hands and started jumping ecstatically to the kitchen to where my mum was.
both mum and younger bro thought i was crazy.
but it was just a normal reaction!
especially when my hopes were long diminished 6 days ago,
when April ended.
WOOHOO~! :D

yippeeeeeeeee~!
what a jubilant dayyyyy~ :D

23 april 09

2009-04-23T23:32:00.009+08:00

well basically i registered for driving ytd.
yes, like, finally.

and today, went to school with syaz to rent our grad attire.

dont intend to put up how i look like in it,
partly because i think i don't look good in the picture taken just now.
ha. :P
can create suspense meanwhile too. :B

anyways, you'll get yr chance to see it soon.
in about 1 month's time. :P

so after renting, went to see2 at the CCA Recruitment drive for a teeny while.
den while walking past, 2 girls saw us and were like,
"Eh2! You look like you can join!"
0-0"
dunoe for some touch rugby or smth.
din really pay attention.
ppl who knows me will be shocked to the max;
dropping their jaws on the ground
if they hear this lor.
i join touch rugby?
i think more like the ball play me.
HAHA. T-T"
eh-hems.
anw,
shld have told dem i graduated alr.
see their reaction.
cfm will be stunned.
i prolly look like a year one than a grad student to them.

anywayyysssssssss.
we went off to Tampines for lunch and walked arnd.
wanted to say window shop...
but i just remembered i did buy things.
*sigh*

it's super cool.
it's weird how friends actually wear the same colour as u on the day,
when we did not agree on wearing the same colour b4 hand.
exact tone sumore.
telepathy. ((:

Many of us thought this is Chip.
But then, i went Googling and realised this is Dale lor!
Super cute rite.

but in the cartoon...Chip is obviously cuter.
whatever happened to you, Dale?
a good example of the ugly duckling turning into a beautiful swan.

Melody.

oh yes.
as u can see, i bought stuff from body shop.
cos there's a promotion buddle pack plus i super love the smell...
so........... =X
1st time lor.
so neh-mind.

& also bought a gift for mum for Mother's Day.
gotta buy in advance 1st cos aint got time to do so alr after today.

while waiting for the bus.

& in the bus.

basically.
i feel so b-r-o-k-e.
TSK.
cos of the driving ofcourse.
all from my own savings.

ytd and today,
i spent almost S$1000.
cool or not?
people spend $100 in a week.
i spend $1000 in 2 days!

*heart's super duper pain*
looking at the vast drop in acc is *OUCH*
to the max. )':

sigh.
that's why it's time to work, to fill that huge hole up.
sianess. ):
tmr onwards marks a super tiring life for me alr.
for money.

ahh....
i'm left with 1 week.
faster notify me~

don't-s became do-s

2009-04-21T23:11:00.003+08:00

today,
is the day i have made a couple of decisions on my own.
after all the comments/feedback from different people,
sorting out my thoughts and what-not.
and after the strugglings through decisions,
all the don't wants suddenly became a green light to go ahead.

it's time to grow up,
happy or not,
wanting or not.

it's time to make your own decision.
wise or not, right or not.
you decide if you've made the right choice or otherwise after that.
even if it's the wrong choice, it's an experience and lesson learnt along the way.

i don't want to live my life in regrets.
anymore.

but then again,
the ability to adapt and juggle everything is yet another matter.
just hope my body can take it.

p.s this doesnt really link to the main thing that happened ytd.
but just reflections along the way.
and the couple of things on hand.

16 April 09

2009-04-18T21:51:00.003+08:00

Thursday,16 April 2009

went to watch 17 Again with gfs.

niceeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
not really gaga over him or anth.
but have to admit he's cute in the show. :D

anws, i'm super lazy to blog/update bout my wk.
so, just updating bout thursday.

and so, just pics.

on the bus b4 meeting the others.

so anws, after movie, we walked to PS and then to Spotlight.

& & &,

i saw this pair of alr opened up wedding gloves...

so........... =X

that sparked all the snappings that followed after.

SJ made everyone go thru the process of everyone gotta be the bride cum bridesmaid process.

i was the one who saw it 1st, so i was alr wearing the gloves out for fun b4 she suggested that.

so....... heh.

now we've got a really mock pre-wedding run-down in advance (vance vance vance.....& who knows how long.). :D

mine.

SJ's.

Xh's.

Yy's.

i'm the only one who went along with Sj's plan,

while the other 2 wanted very much to run away.

hahah. :D

& then normal pics with em'.

i super love this pic cos i think we all look pretty in this. (((:

uh huh.

that's all.

and i feel fattttttttttttt.

fats fats fats.

accumulating lor.

but i did exercise lehhhhhhhhhh.

it's just badminton this week, bt still, it's exercising right?

TSK.

anws,

i'm ~~STILL thinking~~ whether to attend the graduation ceremony or not leh.

TSK.

did i see you? with someone.. at the usual spot

2009-04-14T23:46:00.002+08:00

a sudden jolt of pain.
a figure of two.
unclear view of faces.
yet, a wonder how true.

sometimes,

such events got me thinking again,

what is it really tt i'm holding on to,

or what is it that i can't let go.

then again, certain things can't be washed away, ever.

updates

2009-04-13T14:04:00.007+08:00

okays.
finally.
updates on last wk.

Monday.
interview @ Mayflower Sec with veron's company since it's her sec sch.
i realised how much i don't want to kena sec school as the pressure and conflict within myself was even stronger as i step in, waiting for my turn.

just feel that, pri sch and sec sch are really different,
and that i seriously dunoe how to face sec sch students.
dont really like sec sch students.
my girls will better know why cos we've all got the same sentiments about it.

anw, still dont know the outcome yet.
awaiting, still.

after which was lunch @ Bishan and off to acc her to MS/Suntec.
watched Mall Cops.

Tuesday.
badminton cum jogging session with the 2 girls.
as usual, i kept on laughing due to xh's action and stuff.
and they said i kept nua-ing.
i think it's because of all the laughings tt made me wobbly just tt i din realise that.
hence, i came to a realisation that
badminton days= laughing out heartily day. :D

and evening wen we went for the jog,
we did 站蹲, hence resulting in muscle aches in our upper thighs the next day.
all 3 of us.

Wednesday.
we met up with Naz @ Fareast.

Sj & I @ my house's bus stop, b4 heading to Fareast

chatted, walked arnd.

and then we went to Bugis for dinner.

Aftermath of Tuesday's exercise,

the 3 of us were abit paralyzed on wed.

stairs/steps= obstruction for us.

going down the stairs especially.

& that reminded me of SJ's funny behaviour of going down the stairs in Bugis. :D
made me and xh laughing as we watched her go down from behind.

Thursday.

East Coast Park-ed with Syaz.

i'm super apologetic.

supposed to be cycling with her,

but due to my not-yet-recovered-muscle-aches,

it was cancelled,

hence we just sorta picnic and slacked at the beach.

thankfully you dont mind! :D

can't really open my eyes cos of the super glaring sunlight.

as she's writing..

i camwhored. :D

super nice/cute cloud.

looks like a type of feetless dinosaur.

okays.

that's all folks. (:

and wen i reached home after bathing,

i realised i'm tanned larh.

tsk2.

but it's fading away gradually. (:

okays.

so, another session with the girls tmr.

taas.

cravings

2009-04-13T01:07:00.004+08:00

my stomach's ~~grumblinggggggggg.~~
i'm hungry. =X

should have listed this down some time ago.
my list of cravings!
though i did manage to fulfil some of these in btw..
but still, i don't mind more of it. :D

i want to...

eat..
1.Steamboat
2.Sakae Sushi Buffet
3.Yoshinoya
4. Tori Q don

(uh.. i suddenly can't recall what else.
or i don't know if this is it cos i rmb having quite a handful of cravings.
perhaps i'm revolving arnd the same ones in the end. =X )

visit..
1. Marina Barrage
2. Tampines 1

uh........
that's for now.
heh.

but then again, there's the ka-ching part.
BIG TSK.
cos jobless=no income,
&
going out=more ka-chings flowing out.
sighs.
money, money, money~

& & &,
i've been contemplating on taking up my driving license forever.
mum's been asking me to, since don't-know-when.
and now she's tired of my ai mai ai mai (teochew/hokkien). ):

and now i'm thinking of going to take it up again,
since i've gt nth better to do now,
and i feel that i better not get any job yet,
until after mid-June at least..
so........yea.
perhaps a gd choice (?)

let's see how it goes then.
erm, i'll update abt last wk later today,
prolly in the afternoon. (:
till then.

a song that was never written.

2009-04-11T13:03:00.002+08:00

just finished writing a piece of...song?
only if someone could help me compose the music.
someone who is talented.
knows how to play musical intruments like guitar or piano or smth.
oh wells.
but then, there is the then agains.

oh wells.
ignore me.
i do such a thing like this once in a while.
or perhaps, once in a blue moon i guess.
should have alr written it long ago.
but i've put it off for so long,
and, just felt like writing it these days.

anws, i've only finished reading my breaking dawn ytd night arnd 12am.
hah.
din touch the book for a wk.
i was left with only 50 odd pages,
but i had a packed week this wk,
hence, have been putting it off since then.
i've read a chapter of midnight sun ytd night though.
since i couldnt fall aslp, as usual.

slept for only 3 hrs.
waking up arnd 7+am,
woken up by my dad who was supposed to only wake my younger bro up.
hence, i couldnt fall aslp anymore despite my tired eyes.
woke up and went out to have breakfast with em'.

and.............yea.
i'll update my week again later/tmr/mon.
see when i feel like it, or have nth better to do.
heh. :D
till then.

再次回到老地方

2009-04-09T23:15:00.003+08:00

有些可能看起来不起眼的地方，
则可能对某些人含有许多意义与纪念性的角落。。。

巧合与否；
拍下这张照时，
无意间发现有颗心型在那角落。

虽然少了某些东西，
却意外的多了一样东西。。。。

许多关于你的事，

都好像围绕着对每个人都认为不可能会发生的事，

却的的确确的发生在我身上。

有些时候，

真不知该相信我这独特的戏剧化-生命，

是否还是围绕着我，

或早已离去了呢？

You Belong With Me-

2009-04-03T17:39:00.001+08:00

You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me

Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?
You belong with me

update for 2 april 09

2009-04-03T17:13:00.002+08:00

got a call in the morning on April Fool's day,
with me still sleeping.
so was listening and talking in a half-awake situation.
but ofcourse, i got the main details down in my head,
which im surprised i can still rmb.
heh.
supposed to be happy,
but i thought, i ought to be happy only after i know the results,
some time after the interview, right?
anw, thank goodness it werent a joke/prank call. (:

anws, ytd.
sj and i headed to xh's for badminton.

played for an hr and a half.
and it was a really nice session cos i was pratically laughing my guts out most of the time.
xh was in a sense, entertaining me with her actions.
the way she looked at the shuttlecock with feelings; etc. :D

anw anws,
pichas.

after bathing, b4 leaving the hse for TPY.

& then off to MS.

& then suntec, and then Esplanade, yet again.
but xh left for home for her mum.

SJ talked to me and asked bout certain things.
dont worry bout it yea.
i'm alrightttttttttttttttt. ((:

that's bout all yo.
tatas.

sunday 30 mar

2009-03-30T00:22:00.004+08:00

30 March 09- Sunday.

& so,
i read 1 chapter ytd night/today morning.
slept at 6am lor.
HEH. :D

& & &,
i think i sorta dreamt.
i think.
kinda a subconcious feel rather than a dreamy kinda feeling i'd say.
cos i read till they got married.
and then, i sorta dreamt i was married too. :X
hurhur.
i hope tonight, i wont have dreams about me having a baby. :X
HAHA.
but i dont mind lehhhhhh.
can feel exactly the way Bella feels.

sumore, today jia xuan made me high on a daughter again lor. :/

anws,
i woke up at arnd 3pm and then met ver at amk b4 gng to mama's hse.

jiaxuan's family came arnd 8.30pm.
snap2.

my brother is irritating in the bg in this and the following picture,
as u can see he has the same expression in both. =/

she's superrrrrrr cute.
i realised how to get her into taking solo pic with us alone lor.
"来你剪我的手!"

& then 3 of us.

and yet again.

CUTENESS. <333333333333333

it's weird,

or maybe not?

tt as i grow older (though im alr/only 20 yrs old),

i have stronger feelings of wanting to get married as the time goes by.

suddenly recalled walking past wedding boutiques at MS on Saturday,

and the way i look at the wedding gowns and stuff like that.

is that a good or bad thing?

hmmms....

oh wells.

anws, let's see if i'll dream tonight. (:

"Silence is a true friend who never betrays."

silence= quiet=me.

I am a true friend who never betrays.

I cannot agree further to how true this phrase is.

hahas.

Prolly get smacked by most of you.

But aye, meaningful sentence right. ;)

k laaaa.

shall go contd with my bk.

nights all. (:

asitlingersaroundmyheartallthetime;

update. 26-28 mar 09

2009-03-29T03:59:00.008+08:00

Hellos.
i'm backkkkk.

fever's been on & off the past few days.
and guess it's gone.
currently feeling better,
just that my voice was way sexay in the earlier part of the day.
i rmbered scaring an aunty when i spoke to order my food.
hurhur. :B

actually i was thinking to update my blog only on monday or tuesday.
but,
since i can't fall aslp,
i figured, why not just come online to blog then?

questions may be raised in some,
"why dont you continue reading yr book then?"
the answer to the question is,
because i cant bear to finish it up so soon!

i'm alr a few chapters into the ~~final~~ book, breaking dawn.
and, im upset about my pace.
i mean, after monday, i can be said of totally freed from school.
and, i cant imagine myself with anything else to do other den indulging in my books.
but then again,
i doubt this book can hold me out that long to last me out for the entire next week! :(
*cries and gets upset with stupid ppl having to illegally post out drafts of Midnight Sun,
which was supposedly to be the next book i ~~could be~~ looking forward to!*

SIGHS,
what to do. ):
okayyyyyyyys.
back on track.

just briefly.
so, thurs was Alumni Night.

and a couple of lecturers put up a performance for us.
it was really sweet and nice.
i loved it!
and guess why?
LIVE BAND! :DDD
me lurb! <33333333333333333

and then Friday was the opening of our Diploma show.

students were given green lights to be worn around our fingers.
yes, this.

and then the industry ppl were given white ones.
we were supposed to flyyyyyyyyyy to them.

budden uh, i doubt much ppl did that lor.
but honestly speaking, i really didnt see much white lights that day.
everywhere i saw was mostly greens (which was us, students anws), reds and blues larh.
we came to a conclusion that they turned off the lights.

anws, i guess most of us were like, socialising/spending our last moments enjoying with each other b4 we actually need to part.
sorta like a pre-graduation party or smth i'd say.

anws.
some pics taken.

we look so stiff in the 2nd one,
which was taken first actually.
and and and, Mabel (3rd person from the left) said i look like Pooh in this pic lor!
hahah.
den i was like, "did u said that to me b4, last time?"
she was like, "no."
cos i rmb yr 1 there were ppl alr saying i look like a cartoon character, just tt they cant figure out which.
and then i recalled, on one fateful day,
someone suddenly rmbered, "OH! I KNOW WHICH CARTOON CHARACTER YOU LOOK LIKE ALR!"
"WINNIE THE POOH!"
others who were arnd, " EH! YAYAYA! YOU LOOK LIKE WINNIE THE POOH LEH!"

hahaha, thinking back, i thought their reaction was pretty funny.
i mean, thru pri+sec sch days,
i din hear anth like that frm anyone.
cute people,
thanks. :DD

p.s. so ppl reading this, dont be annoyed whenever i'd say
"eh! it's me!"
*pointing to a winnie the pooh plush/object/related items when we're out shopping kay. :DDDD
it's proven alr. :P

bwahaha.

anws, Rachael & meeeeeee.

and sad to say, these grp pics are ALL BLURRED!

super upsetting.
if not, it'd be nice de lor.
cos the photographer's inside the pictures you see.
sighs.
i taught the person how to deal with my camera taking clearer pics,
and still...... ):

& then, with Idah!

yep.
that's pretty much all for the 2 days.
i'm intending to take more on Monday with WJ since we're just nice being scheduled tgt. (:

and then, saturday, supposedly today.

went to Suntec convention for a talk.
after which ate with Syaz.
left to meet parents as they're here to walk arnd.
and then back homed.
SJ came to print stuff.
and then we dinner-ed at Serangoon Garden's for prata tgt with my family.
and then homed again. (:

tmr, off to Grandma's.

and...
i'm still unsure if i can fall aslp after this.
though it's alr 4.30am.
and this thick book in front of me is tempting me.
i can almost hear it say Just Read Me, ~~Stupid.~~

and i have a feeling i would.
HURHUR. =X
maybe just 1 chapter.
wouldnt hurt ba, right. :B
ayeeee.... my biological clock is still not adjusting back lehhhhhhh.
how?! ))):

My Life Would Suck Without You-Kelly Clarkson

2009-03-25T14:16:00.004+08:00

My Life Would Suck Without You

Guess this means you're sorry
You're standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
What you said before

Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you'd never come back
But here you are again

Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you

Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Anyway, I found out I'm nothing without you

Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you

Being with you is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you, but I can't let you go

Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you

Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you

2009-03-25T13:58:00.006+08:00

feeling drained out, both physically & mentally.
guess it's due to 2 reasons.

1. i think a flu bug got me.
feeling rather sickly.

2. i had a pretty long dream while i was asleep.
pretty doesnt really fit into the description though.
it was a rather horrible one, to me.

cant really rmb the details.
but i only know it revolved around someone.
the thing is,
i felt a fresh new pain.
a pain, like knives just keep on stabbing right through your heart,
consecutively, non stop.
it's like........ i'm suddenly hurt in a way,
like i've never been, before.

recalling the pain,
i cant help to be downcasted even more,
to a whole new level of pain.

i only put an end to the dream when i woke up realizing my face was soaked in tears.
it reminded me of the last time this ever happened to me.
years ago,
just b4 o levels.
~~i actually dreamt tt my grandfather had passed away.~~

and to think tt i've to experience this process once again,
just that it's a different person this time round, and i dont think its about death anymore.

sighs.
this feeling sucks, totally.
it's horrible to face the aftermath of such dreams.

totally affected by this dream.
wondering why the sudden dream;
why the fresh new pain;
& why the whole new level of prick.

ice skating!

2009-03-25T00:39:00.014+08:00

Hello Folks~

updating for 24th March's entry. (:

anws, shall begin on 21st, Saturday.
evening sunset, the sky was a pretty orange.

den headed downstairs with my parents for dinner,
and i saw a really beautiful rainbow.
used my dad's phone to snap cos i din bring my phone along.

it was actually against the orange sky lo.
idk why dad's phone auto change the colour back to the same blue sky. ):

not as beautiful as it was against the orange sky. ):

then came 22nd, Sun.

another family day.
was in the car waiting for Dad to buy 4D.
so mum and i decided to play with my elder brother's shades+specs.

the norm.

the nerd.

the shades.

mum & I thought he's rather gay to buy red anw. =/

anws, he's got 3 colours of this same design lor.

crazy right.

the other 2 was white and black respectively.

i think the black one makes one look like fly/blind. :D

cos no matter who wears it,

it'll just portray these feel.

so, i nv snap.

heh. :D

den we were at Parkway when we saw this outside.

kids were queueing up to get into these air balls to roll themselves inside like a hamster.

i thought it looked pretty funny & retarded though. :D =X

but okay larh.

for kids.

fun (:

& now, for 24th, today!

in a way.. (:

went school for an hour's talk;

den off to meet my girls.

we went to Kallang Leisure Park to Ice-Skate. (:

anw, this is xh's glove,

which i found oh-so-adorable!

super small larh.

like for kids one lor.

but she said it has shrunk.

despite my bigger hands/longer fingers,
i still can wear it. (:

see.
in comparison.
so cute.
like mommy's and a kid's lor.

and so @ the ice skating rink.
lurb the top 2 pics the most. ((:

and then 2 by 2s.

& then individually.

they say i look like Selina with what sj say, 回头一笑.

& then with xh.

and sj.

it's been really long since i last skate.

me like. (:

anws, we skated for an hour plus only bah.

and then off we went.

walked arnd the arcade.

guitarists.

and then motorcyclists cum brokeback mountain? hahas

and then photo taking with posters.

ZacEfron! :D

okay. im not really that into him larh.

he's just...cute. (:

i'm currently superb into EDWARD. :DDD

then off we went to settle at CoffeeBean for xh's craving.

snap2.

& then off to Bugis for dinner.

our orders.

tasting the delicious salad prawn.

sj then snapped @ us.

i think this kinda looked funny to me though. :D

i think we were talking about Twilight/Edward.

haha. den sj cant stand us cos she dont want us to be spoilers. :D

& off we went to Esplanade again,

to slack. (:

this pic made me laughed non-stop + hysterically.

does it have the same impact on you all?

haha.

after i explained it to them, den sj also laughed with me while xh gave up snapping with us. :D

cos i feel that sj's plait looks like it belonged to xh instead.

then her overall look/hair made her look like some crazy auntie. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

dont kill me kae.

we still love you. (((:

anw i also look hideous here. :D

so like i've said.

xh gave up snapping with us.

so hence, snapped for sj and me. :D

super nice bg as xh was trying to capture us with.

& off we go.

on the bus.

sj was saying i look v pale, which i din think so cos i normally looked like that.

bt then xh agreed with her.

so i was saying, my blood's draining away.

linking to Edward again.

"He sucked my blood and his venom is inside my body now." :DDD

i was too into the story alr.

so alot of convos was involved with him. :D

and just now at Bugis, we passed by a hotel call Victoria Hotel.

so i was asking, why would ppl wanna stay there?

arent they afraid of getting killed?

then i saw 2 ppl dragging their luggage inside.

so i was like, "faster! stop them!"

den i forgot what's the convo in btw,

but i ended the convo with,

"nvm, call my bf"

sj - *shocked* "when did u have a bf?"

me :" i'll ask Edward to save them/kill Victoria."

:DDDD

& yes.

a day well spent with the girls. ((:

tomorrow's Alumi Night!

and then following that will be Opening Night for our Design show.

both days for us at 6.30pm-9.30pm.

after which, 27th-31st will be opened to public.

(yes, anyone of you who are interested to come, you can come in to TP, TCC [right inside Engine School] )

from 12pm-9pm

Sat: 10am-5pm

Sun: closed.

but i'll only be in school on Mon, 12-3pm. (:

yep.

that's bout all folks.

how fast time flies.

and yet, it's really a bad time to graduate.

you've got no idea how difficult it is to secure a job now,

unless you're the one going through it right now.

sighs.

and it's said to be getting worse through these 6 more months or so;

and the economy will only get better next year.

why is our batch also the sway one? ):

everything and anything always happen in our year huh?

1989s? )):

19 march 09;live bands, karaoke

2009-03-20T01:39:00.011+08:00

2.29am.
super tired.
shall update b4 i go to bed. (:

ytd(18th) was Dad's bday.
i think Dad is dwn with luck this yr lo.
ought to be careful seriously.
and i ask him to drive less.

wen we were having dinner at this restaurant by the street at the main rd,
a cyclist sorta bump into him at made him ouch loudly.
haha. bt the rest of us were laughing hysterically after that cos 1st,
was the embarassment.
all heads were turned to look at us larh.
from the various tables.
super ps.
2nd was i cant stop laughing rmbering my dad's expression.
hahas.
even till now. =X
sounds bad uh.
bad it's really funny if u saw his face. =X

and then otw home,
he almost hit a car (again?)
or smth.
cant rmb suddenly.
but this time rd my elder bro was sitting behind my mum.
but the car was super near to him also.
tsk2.
and yet another swift turn by him to avoid being hit la.
aiyoyo~
bt the feeling is scary lo.

and today.
got ready to meet the girls at 12pm at my hse.
heh.

@ the place we're singing.
with sj.
she said i look like China Doll. =/
(oh and cin ar, she say we look even more alike now =/ )

with yy and sj.

with yy.
and she said i look nice with this hair.
and further surprised when i said i cut it myself.
hohoho.
i say she can find me for a hair cut next time.
mayb i should go into hair salon business. =X

with xh.

with xh and yy.

group pic (:

and then we left arnd 6pm.

thanks to the smokers next door,

we've passive smoking for about 2 hrs?

but in the end xh and me kinda got high or smth.

cos we were kinda high by the time we're singing the songs at the back. :O

& then Bugis-ed a short while while yy get her stuff.

and then Esplanade-ed.

Dinner @ Ichiban Boshi.

sj was saying xh & i look like some very close couple when we were talking.

look @ the bottom pic.

she looks so....... eh-hems.

hahas. :D

& then!
we wanted to sit by the river.
BUT, there was a live band going on!
cant help to walk over to it.
me love! <333333333333

top is wen we arrived. a lady singer.
bottom is b4 we left.
that caucasian guy is cute.
heh. nice vocals and all.
sighs.

anws, we kissed the guitar guy. (:

other mates playing the drums & the piano.

& sj & i snapped agn by the river.

then we left arnd 10plus.

wanted to listen more to the live band;

didnt really feel like going off yet.

but then we gotta go..

so...yea.

next time bah.

will have the chance anws,right? (:

yea.

so ending off with a pic which i think got feel de lor.

sj only agree with me when she reached home. =/

see. dont believe me.

i alr said GOT FEEL de lor.

hahahaha.

heh heh.

nights all. (:

onereasonwhyi'msointolivebands.

onereasonofcertainchangesinlife.

onereasonofimagesappearinginmymindatvarioustime.

onereasonsaysitall.

bangs!

2009-03-17T22:45:00.004+08:00

since it's been long since i 自恋,
plus i just cut my own fringe by myself again,
its photos time! :D

after cutting, b4 bathing.

after bathing.

i think not bad what, right?
hahah.
mum says i look toot.
younger brother says i look ~~hideous.~~
stupid.
hahas.
what to do.
own family always bring you down with negative comments right.
haha.
neh mind.

anw anw.
i think my hair texture looks nice in the photo eh.
got reflection lo.
hahas. =X
getting my hair condition back. ((:
and a couple of poly frens mentioned i look better with straight hair.
and most thought i rebonded my hair.
cos all these yrs in poly,
im all the while in curls u see.
heh.

and, i realised a huge difference with my younger brother's presence larh.
i lived in peace & tranquilty for the past 3 days.
the house was so peaceful & quiet.
today uh, the moment he's back.
woah.
super noisy.
told me his story upon seeing me.
and then repeated the entire story to my mum when she's back home.
0-0"
talkative lo.
but he havent told my dad.
heh.

was contemplating to go school or not tmr.
but i think im nt gng ba.
heh.
lazy. =X
shall go on friday to upload my stuff.
hopefully everything goes smoothly.

and thursday!
cant wait for one of my wants to be fulfilled.
karaoke with the girls. ((:

have i mentioned that that sick someone still talks to me once in a while?
the last time he talked to me got me sick and rather offended.
and now, maybe im kinda in a good mood so im still cool with it.
shall reveal the subject the next time i explode.
heh. till then (:

update

2009-03-16T15:27:00.004+08:00

it's been a week.
seemed pretty long for me not updating.

wells.
lazy to go into details anws.

briefly.
Friday, met up with the 3 mentoring girls at Safra Minds Cafe.

Saturday.
went to the extremely crowded IT Fair @ Suntec to get my hard disk & Dad's thumbdrive.
did take picture of it but im lazy to upload.
heh.
anws, i bought a seagate one.
&, it's PINK.
heh heh. pretty de lo.
sumore the price dropped by 10 bucks!
luckily i din go on the 1st day. :D

&&&&...
yea.
pretty much tt's it.

i've just finished watching Twilight movie for the 2nd time.
indeed, i've gt a clearer pic.
i still rmbering asking xuan alot of qns the 1st time i was watching it.
and indeed, alot of scenes have been taken out.
the movie's kinda a summary to the book.

and talking abt the book.
finished it like on wed or smth last wk.
& im now waiting for thurs to get bk 3 & 4 so i can contd reading.
heh. cant wait~~~

and for now, i'm supposed to get my hands on my stuffs for dip show.
but i'm super lazy to do.
sighs.
but this have been put off for way too long,
and im now left with only a wk to get it done.
better push my lazy arse to start on it. :((

anws.
side tracking to go into details on sunday, ytd.
just a sudden thought tt reminded me of an incident ytd.

actually, u guys could possibly see this blog rot for years and years and forever,
flood my tagboard to update, or whatever,
and get no response ever noe.

there was a high possible chance of at least, 90% that i could be gone,
forever.
really. and i meant it.
ytd, we almost got into a car accident.
dad was driving.
mum sitting beside him, me sitting at the back seat behind mum.
then i was dunno doing wad.
i wasnt paying attention to the outside views,
until a sudden swift serve by my dad,
following by $%@$#!$ and stopping of the car.

i then realised we almost got hit by a car coming out fast from our side (mum and i).
so i turned back & realised the car stopped too.
prolly the same anger my dad was in, i assume.
cos both parties dun wanna give way and almost lung-ga.

everything happened so fast bt i did manage to catch a glimpse of hw close tt car was to my side la.
and mum said anth happen, we'll both be the 1st to be gone.
den from there, i started thinking alot again.
it's always like this huh.
on the brink of death or smth, u call it.

was wondering..
wad if i really just poof off from the surface of the Earth just like that?
i'm only 20.
havent even got my hands on my diploma.
and that close to getting it.

what will my relatives and friends be like then?
will they be grieving over me?
or mayb some wont cos i din matter much in their lives anw?

i'm only just about to start getting to know this life.
just 1/4 through it, perhaps.

havent even found someone.
havent even marry yet.
havent even have kids yet.
havent even build up this wonderful family of my own that i've always dreamt of.
havent even got the chance to see my children grow up, getting married,
and be a grandma.
.
.
.
thought through alot huh.
though it seems like all these are soooooooo far away from us,
considering the age we're at.
but, it really dawn upon me how brittle life is.
those emails we receive in our pri/sec period abt friends dying today or whatever might seem like crap to us perviously,
becos somehow,
we will know that we'll see our friends the very nest day/everyday.

but seriously, you'll nv noe what will be coming for you.
whether you want it or not.
it was so close.
less than 2 palm sizes. (of mine at least.)
if dad din react to it fast enough;
if the turn turned to bump into another vehicle coming on the other direction of the road...
where will we all be now?
oh wells.

and to think abt it now.
IF. it really did happen.
what will happen to my younger brother?
he's away for camp at school.
hence not with us ytd.
(which im glad he's not if smth really happened)

then..the hse will be left with only guys fending for themselves.
13 years old.
quite young to say.
thinking about the maturity of mind and stuff.
dont think he'll get by too well w/o us.
i can say he's rather dependant on me...

okay.
i should put a stop to this.
ha. gng on like that seems endless.
and feeling sorta suicidal, seemingly.
like my last words b4 i go.
not peaceful at all.
so much...担忧.

heh.
okayyyyyyyyyyyyy.
bubbye. (:

mon

2009-03-09T21:51:00.004+08:00

Do this if you wanna know more about yrself.
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

I did this on FB wen ppl tagged me.
but i think it's scarily accurate tt made me wanna post in my blog too.
heh.

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self.
Your friends love you because you are a good listener.
They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people.
You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style.
( i was having a lil doubt of this wen i read this la. =X at least i admit okay. :P )
This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex.
In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom.
Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
(bt i feel education is impt lo.)

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
(this is superb true esp at this pt of time; what i've been thinking and planning mths ago. )

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

(so very true for these 3)

& for blogging.
cold cold weather.

got called for a 4 day job at expo, at a very last min.
bt working the 1st 2 days only cos i've gt to go back sch on wed.
dun wanna go into details.
just wanna mention abt this guy from Germany asking about my age.

He: "how old are you?"
me: "20".
He:" 20?!?!?! You look like you're only 12!!"
me: " T-T""" *smile2*"

i dont know how to respond lo.
but i put alot of ?!?!?! and !!! cos i wanna emphasize it to relate to how he said it out.
he was really shocked & animated like that. 0-0"

it's yet another situation to describe 哭笑不得. =/
so 夸张. at the very least, i look 16 right.
sheeesh.
heh. neh-mind.
this shall go on and as i age, & people who are laughing at this will be crying with envy then,
cos u all will look wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy older than i do! :PpPp
muahaha.

i realised my parents' children are all facing this problem larh.
yes. all 3 of us.
my elder brother most probably have been wanting to knock on walls umpteen times too.
&, my younger brother's just starting to get a lil of it only, i'd say.

okayyyyyyyyyy.
shall go off with my new moon-ing. ((((:
gotta wake up earlier tmr though. =/
nights all.

Twilight sequel

2009-03-07T15:33:00.008+08:00

hellos.
it's been a while.

to briefly sum up what i've been doing for this past wk,
job hunting & reading i guess.

EE was alright.
pretty much the same as our own internal ones.

reading.
i'm engaged into reading.
can you believe it?
i can't really believe it, in a sense.

it's been years since i've last read a book, i think.
& seriously speaking,
most of the time, i'd give up reading halfway or the most, 3/4 of a book.
ad i'd stop.
2 reasons perhaps.
1. the book will be in due, perhaps due to my slow reading or whatever reasons to it.
2. i dont really seem to be into the story very much so to keep the momentum on to complete it.

BUT.
Stephenie Meyer got me won up all over.
SHE'S GOOD.
Superb in fact, seriously.
no doubt for being the international best seller,
the Publishers Weekly saying that "it'll keep readers madly flipping the pages of Meyer's tantalizing debut."
can't agree further to the bold words to emphasize how closely described it is.

i respect her.
her writing, storytelling;
understanding each and every character in the story to vividly describe them each,
that makes them so alive and real that u could really picture every single scene that painted in your mind.

i never thought i'd be so into Twilight.
honestly speaking.
could not understand why people go ga-ga over this story/ Edward after watching the movie or after reading the book.
but after watching it once,
and having finished reading the 1st book,
i really can understand why.
1/4 through New Moon for now.
and still loving it.

have been a habit to read b4 going to bed,
and contd reading the moment i opened my eyes in the morning these days.
(that is if i've gt nth on for the day)
and speaking of which, i realised i havent had more than 8 hrs of sleep since........
last week perhaps.
weird, i thought.
since i could afford a more than 10 hours of sleep oredi,
but my body seems to just wake up after 6-8hrs of sleep,
although i could feel tiredness in me.

power of the book?
even if my eyes are dead tired, i'd tell myself to finish off that chapter b4 sleeping.
bt wenever a chapter ends, i cant stop to contd reading.
and have been reading till like 4plus these days.
hah.

okay.
enough of blabbering on & on.
i should contd reading for now. :D
that is why i'm seen less often online these days.
READING.

and, i gotta mention the fact that Edward reminds me of 2 persons.
1 of which is the way he smiles and the look on his eyes
(as described)
and the other...
oh well.
sometimes it's obvious to mention, isnt it?

A qoute from New Moon
" Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget;
it was a hard line to walk."

I never felt that there was even once someone having to feel the exact same way I'd feel for a long time.
and, now, i'd even find solace in a fictional character to relate to myself.
pathetic or what?

oh wells.
goodbye.

vexed/short tempered

2009-02-27T22:52:00.002+08:00

SIGHS.
dont know what's wrong.
currently am feeling rather stressed up.
weird huh.
to think tt presentation ended today,
and i shld be feeling better.

anws, ytd got to noe from others abt presentation slots pushed forward by 40mins.
in the end it was pushed behind lo.
reached school arnd 130pm,
thought i was late.
in the end i was the 1st and no one's here.
1st one started arnd 3pm or so.
im the 2nd.
the wait was nerve wrecking.
but so so ba.
i guess.
not much feeling abt it actually.

sighs.
am now vexed upon my future routes/upcoming plans larh.
dunno why.
maybe i cant source out schools that offer what i want/need.
or smth.
idk.
too much things to take into considerations.
i guess.
RAWRS.
stupid phase.

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
anws.
am gng for an interview tmr.
nope.
not a job kinda future job.
just a part time job so tt i can dont waste my time at home.
wasting electricity/parents' $/gaining fats.
but dad said smth to me tt i cant stop worrying bout it myself.
neh-mind.
xh's gng with me.
so shld be okay.
SOOOOOOOOO.
yea.
am off.
goodbye.